Wizard x Wizard
by TheRealEvanSG
Summary: It is around thirty years after the Battle of Hogwarts, and Hermione and Luna have completed work on a project they'd been working on for the new Magical Science department in the Ministry of Magic - a portal to another world. However, what crazy adventures await them in a world of death being flippantly written off, Nen, and a couple of cute kids who are (probably) superhuman?
1. A x New x World

Chapter 1: A x New x World

The portal was a tamer beast than Harry had expected, although he really should've thought as much before, since it was Hermione's magic that had helped bring it into existence. Purple and glowing an eerily intimidating, yet equally enthralling aura, it made no sounds as it hung in space for all the crowd gathered in the new wing of the Ministry of Magic to see. Harry, standing in the crowd around the pedestal upon which the portal hovered, felt a strange sensation of awe and mystery that he had not felt in years, not since his very first boat ride into Hogwarts.

"Ladies and gentlemen," came the booming, immensely proud voice of Susan Bones, who magically hovered aloft above the sweeping crowd of over five hundred wizards, witches, and Squibs. With an extravagant flourish rather unlike her, she swept her hand to the portal which Harry stood in front of like a boy looking at a candy store. "I am very happy to at least show you the product of the past three years; the brand-new, magically created transdimensional portal! After years of research in both Muggle science and intricate, deep magics, this incredible advancement has been achieved by the combined efforts of Hermione Granger and Luna Lovegood. It leads to an entirely different dimension, where magic apparently does not exist, according to all spells we've cast through it. It has also been tested on various animals and is safe for all who cross it, although because of how it messes with one's magic, none can cross back through for at least another year in that world's time."

"Excuse me, Mrs. Bones!" someone from the crowd asked excitedly, their hand raised high up into the air. Peering curiously through his glasses, Harry recognized it to be a reporter for the Daily Prophet, a new recruit who was no doubt hoping to start his career by gaining the biggest scoop of the century. "I have heard that three people have been selected to become the first wizards and witches to cross the portal! Are the rumors that these people are the Golden Trio true?"

"Thank you, Mr. Penn," Susan said, bowing her head slightly in the direction of the speaker. "These rumors are indeed accurate. It was unanimously decided within the new Magical Science Committee that the brightest, bravest magic wielders of our age, namely Harry Potter, Ronald Weasley, and Hermione Granger should be the ones to have this honor, and they accepted gratefully. And I suppose now is as good a time as any; Harry, Ron, Hermione, may all three of you please come up to the portal's pedestal at this time?"

Almost giddily, Harry pushed his way through the crowd, ignoring the excited whispers and mumblings of the mass around him. Knocking aside robed arms holding old fashioned cameras, accidentally trodding over several poor people's feet, Harry at last fought his way to the front, and saw a widely grinning Ron and a proud Hermione already climbing up the three steps which led up to the stone pedestal in the center of the crowd. Harry quickly followed suit, joining his two friends as they all came to a stop directly in front of the glowing, otherwordly portal. The raven-haired wizard was in between the redhead and brunette.

Light flashed blindingly as over a hundred cameras immediately began flashing in random spurts, but Harry's smile did not falter. He nudged Ron, who had evidently either forgotten to shave that morning or was growing out a beard. Red scraggly hair hung off the man's chin.

"How many years has it been since we've been on stupidly risky, death-defying adventures together, just the three of us?" he asked, a wave of nostalgia washing over him. He remembered fighting that troll in the dungeons, brewing Polyjuice potion in the secrecy of unused women's bathrooms with Moaning Myrtle screaming down the back of their necks, flying magic cars into the school, and generally driving the teachers mad. It all felt so far away, but at the same time, like it had happened just yesterday.

Ron snorted. "Since you dragged Hermione and me on stupidly risky, death-defying adventures, you mean?"

Hermione swatted her husband. "Oh, stop it, Ronald. You know you loved breaking the school rules as much as Harry did."

"Okay, so maybe I enjoyed it a little," the freckled man relented, a grin turning up his own lips, "except for the spiders in the Forbidden Forest. I could've lived without those."

" _Spiders_ ," Harry whined in an obnoxiously high voice, drawing a mock-hurt glare from his best friend. " _Why did it have to be spiders_?"

"Oi, don't think I've forgotten that you were screaming like a banshee, too, Mister I-Saved-The-World-Like-Seven-Times-In-As-Many-Years!"

Suddenly, Ron's words began to be drowned out, and Harry realized that Susan had started talking again, this time using a well-placed _Sonorus_ on herself so that she could be heard over the cacophony of cameras and excited sea of flowing robes and chattering guests.

"It is now time for the most important journey of the century to commence!" Susan announced, turning to face Harry, Ron, and Hermione herself. The blond half-witch smiled at her old classmates, who all returned the smile warmly; the Bones family had been good to them over these thirty years. "Harry, Ron, and Hermione, you are aware that all three of you will not necessarily end up in the same part of the world you are going to, correct?"

"Right," Harry said loudly, the other two members of the famous Golden Trio also echoed affirmatives beside him.

"Very well. Are there any final words you'd like to say before your departure?"

Harry exchanged a glance with the two Weasleys. They both shook their heads, and Harry opened his mouth to reply with a _no_ , but at that moment all the air was forced from his lungs as he was suddenly hit by a flying Ginny. His wife had fought through the crowd so quickly that a cheetah could be jealous, and was now bear-hugging the Savior of Magical Britan so tightly that he barely was able to breathe.

"HARRY JAMES POTTER!" Ginny cried, almost crushing his ribs. Harry choked. "YOU ARE THE ABSOLUTE WORST HUSBAND! DON'T YOU _DARE_ LEAVE FOR A GRAND TRIP TO AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT WORLD WITHOUT SAYING GOODBYE TO YOUR BLEEDING WIFE!"

"G-Ginny!" Harry gasped while the crowd erupted into laughter. Hermione giggled at his right. His skin was paling and his eyes were nearly bulging out of his head. "C-Can't… breathe!"

"You're damn straight you can't!" grumbled Ginny, a single tear rolling from her eye, but she released her husband and backed up, a sad smile tugging at her red lips. She was in a beautiful red dress that accentuated her fiery curls, and Harry felt he surely must be the luckiest man in the world. "You're a jerk, you know that? Asking me to take care of Ron and 'Mione's kids, too, like I don't already have enough little gremlins making me go grey early."

"There's a reason I'm not saying goodbye, Ginny," he said calmly, bending down a little to wipe the tear from his beautiful wife's eye. She blushed heavily; even after so many years of their marriage, he still was able to surprise her in new ways. "After the Battle of Hogwarts, I promised myself that I'd never say 'goodbye' to anyone ever again. Because I'd already said goodbye to too many people. Goodbye is too final for me now; and we _will_ see each other again, you hear me?" Harry grinned and hugged Ginny, who sniffed and hugged him again back. "I'll always return home to you."

"You… you… _you stupid romantic jerk_!" Ginny sobbed into his shoulder, smiling in spite of herself as the crowd gave a collective, _Awww_.

"Don't worry, Gin, we'll keep Harry out of trouble," Hermione reassured the redhead.

Ron stared at his wife. "'Mione, you do realize that keeping _Harry bleeding Potter_ out of trouble is like keeping a fish out of water?" he asked flatly. "How in Merlin's baggy underpants are we ever going to manage that?"

"You better find a way, or else when you come home, I'll keep you up all night every night with my incessant crying," the fiesty woman warned her brother, who laughed very nervously. "Actually, no, I'll leap into the portal myself, search that entire world to find where you are, and cast relentless Bat Bogeys on you. You'll never get an ounce of peace the rest of your waking days."

"Duly noted," Ron squeaked, one hundred percent certain that his sister would definitely follow through with her threat, too.

The many different witches and wizards watching Ginny's tirade chuckled. Harry spied Seamus Finnigan waving happily at him from the back, George Weasley keeping an eye on his and Ginny's, as well as Ron and Hermione's, children, and a very old indeed Minerva McGonagall smiling up at him with pride. He took one last look at the sweeping Ministry of Magic hall that this send-off was taking place in; the wide, sweeping emerald carpet running along black stones, tall columns holding up a ceiling high above them, crackling green fireplaces upon fireplaces taking up the bulk of the walls. It was the last time he'd see these halls for nearly a year, considering Hermione was able to re-open the portal from the other side by that time.

As it stood now, the portal was one-way, for none of the animal test subjects that they'd sent through had returned even though the many different spells and wards placed on them indicated complete safety. Annoyingly, the magic used to keep the portal stable for indefinite amounts of time even on one side of it was so strong that it would take an entire year more for Hermione's magic reserves to build up enough to pour all the magic needed to keep the thing running. And _that_ was considering they didn't get into any tough battles on the other side.

"Now then, are all of your tracking spells running properly?" Susan asked the trio as a teary-eyed Ginny retreated back down into the crowd to rejoin the sole owner of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes.

Hermione closed her eyes, and Harry felt wandless, silent magic flow over him, his friend's calm serenity cooling his nerves.

"Yes, all three of ours are working as they should be," Hermione answered Susan.

"Perfect! Then without further ado, it is time to send you off to your new one-year home." The blond woman clapped her hands, clearly excited by this prospect herself, and she turned to the crowd. "Everyone! Say goodbye to our heroes and beloved friends! Wish them luck on any adventures that may unfold for them over the course of their stay in this mysterious other world!"

The next few minutes was filled with shouting wizards wishing their three saviors the warmest goodbyes, the safest luck, and much more. Harry, Ron, and Hermione couldn't help but exchange wide smiles; their hearts pounded, their minds buzzed, and not a single cell in their body wasn't excited for this new sojourn.

And at last, it was time to begin.

"Who wants to go first?" Harry asked with a grin, as they all turned to face the purple portal.

Ron shoved him playfully. "Oh, please, we all know you're the one who's itching the most to step through that thing."

"Yeah, go for it!" Hermione urged, leaning forward. "You've got to try it out! I want to see you go in!"

"You guys sure?" Harry wanted to be certain that he wasn't encroaching on any hidden desires to go first.

"Oh, shove off already!" Ron grumbled, and pushed him harder this time, sending him stumbling forward with a surprised yelp, and his momentum carried him through the mysterious veil of purple.

It felt strange, entering the space in between worlds. It was cold and hot, crushing and soothing, white and black. His ears rang with noise and at the same time he couldn't hear anything. He walked forward through violet mist that flowed all around him, towards mystic lands of which neither he, nor anyone else from Earth knew anything about. This was not only a departure from his previous life; it was a departure from all things he'd ever considered normal or taken for granted.

At last, he spied light at the end of the mysterious space, and took off at a run for it.

He burst through, and was immediately blinded by light on the other side. This surprised him; the trio's going away send-off had taken place at midnight, and so he had not been expecting such light. But then again, he supposed that it was perfectly reasonable to assume that this world did not run on the same time schedule as his own, or that perhaps they'd ended up in the other world's equivalent for a different time zone.

Either way, he had to blink rapidly, now that he was out of that non-world, in order to adjust to the searing light that was nearly burning his poor retinas. He breathed deeply, and was delighted to find warm, unpolluted air, deliciously fresh rolling over his tongue.

When he at last was adjusted, the man with the lightning scar nearly fell over. It was a good thing that this was _nearly_ , too, and not _did_ , for he stood on the very high-up branch of a towering tree, in the center of an island that from this height seemed to be shaped like a whale.

An excited grin, wider than any of the rest he'd worn tonight, spread across Harry James Potter's face.

He had made it!


	2. Let x Me x Sleep

Chapter 2: Let x Me x Sleep

Harry waited thirty minutes. Neither Ron nor Hermione appeared on the thick tree branch beside him that whole time, and a Point Me spell didn't do anything except spin about aimlessly; the two weren't anywhere nearby, too far out of the spell's range for it to have any hope of picking the couple up. This concerned Harry, and he quickly checked some of the wards they had placed on each other which would let them know they were all safe and alive. The wards did not give any signs of harm coming to the duo, so he breathed a sigh of relief and closed the connection for the while.

"Now, then," the short, raven-haired man said to himself, "the next step would be to find some sort of civilization and see if I can't talk with the locals." Before the send-off party, the Ministry had charmed Harry and his friends with a Multilinguistic Charm: a handy little charm that would allow them to instantly understand and speak any new language they heard.

Emerald orbs scanned the whale shaped island from above. Most of it was just green, green forest, the vibrant leaves swaying with the slight, clean breeze. By the coast behind the direction he'd first started in, however, was a small village, almost a hamlet, really, and relief passed through him. So this place was populated, after all! That made things easier for him.

With a loud crack, not unlike the cacophony of a fired gun, he vanished in a puff of grey that dissipated quickly after it came. Another crack mere moments later, and he'd reappeared in the village, behind what appeared to be a supermarket, albeit in an old-fashioned style.

Luckily, there was no one around here to see his magic. He didn't want to break the Statutes of Secrecy, even if they probably didn't necessarily apply to an entirely different world. Harry casually walked around the side of the supermarket to the streets, and was surprised to see no one there. What about the owner of the supermarket; was he or she gone, too? A quick look into said market assured him that the answer to this was _yes_. Where was everyone? At a party, or something?

The Boy Who Lived glanced around town and found nothing suggestive of a party or festival; then his eyes fell on the ocean, and he saw a large ship docked at the village harbor, and tons of people crowded around the edge of the harbor. Raising his eyebrow, Harry decided to run down to the ship as fast as he could. Thanks to his work as an Auror, the middle-aged wizard was no stranger to running, and he made his way down the sloped street easily. The closer he got, the more he heard a whole lot of happy/sad shouting, the kind that Harry himself had shouted several times while sending his incredibly talented kids off to Hogwarts.

He slowed to a stop upon reaching the harbor, and tapped a random man on the shoulder. "What's the excitement about?" he asked, eyes focused on the ship.

"Eh?" The man, a tall brown-haired villager, handsome yet not remarkably so, with a slightly dirty face from his work—Harry guessed carpentry based on all the callouses on his hands and the wood splinters that dusted his shirt sleeves—frowned at him curiously. "What's up with your accent, man? And where the hell did you come from, anyway? I ain't never seen you 'round here before, and I sure as hell ain't never heard an accent like that."

Harry sweatdropped. "Um… just passing through, sir. But do you mind answering my question?"

"Eh?" the man said again, before blinking and shaking his head. "Oh, about why we're all gathered here in front of this ship, you mean? Well, it's because our very own Gon is takin' the Hunter Exam this year. It's the first time in a long time since someone from this island's been fool enough to try and take it, but I'd say if anyone has any chance o' passin', it's good ol' Gon."

What the heck was a Hunter Exam?

"What's this Hunter Exam you mentioned just now?" Harry asked, and now the man stared at him with not only curiosity, but downright disbelief.

"You're pulling me leg, aren'tcha? How the hell do ya not know about the Exam?"

The raven-haired man shrugged helplessly. "Um… My home is really, _really_ remote?"

Hey, in terms of connections to this world, that wasn't entirely a lie.

"...Must be some really hard-to-reach, whacko place then," the man decided, which also was pretty true. The villager sighed and shook his head, an amused smile tugging at his lips. "Well, the Hunter Exam is an annual test held for anybody who wishes to become a Hunter. And a Hunter is basically a mercenary or an adventure seeker; they get free or reduced passage to almost every country in the world, they gain access to information folks like your or me could never hope to get, and they get hired out on jobs for just about anyone who's willing to shell out enough money."

Harry raised his eyebrow. That was quite the privilege. Free passage around the world? A wealth of information at your fingertips? Adventures? His emerald eyes glinted with interest. He just _knew_ that no matter where they were in this wide, unknown world, Ron and Hermione would almost certainly be taking this exam, _especially_ Hermione, who pretty much thrived on knowledge.

"How much does it cost to take the Hunter Exam?" Harry asked quickly, completely forgetting that he likely didn't even have the proper currency used in this world. "And where is it held?"

"It's free, as long as you don't literally lose your arm or leg taking it," the man joked with a snort, "or your life, for that matter. People are willing to throw away literally everything they have to become a Hunter, and the Exams are so dangerous each year that it's almost guaranteed at least fifty people will die. If not more. And for your second question, no one knows exactly. All that we know is that to get to it, you ride that boat over there."

The man jabbed his thumb at the ship, where a kid with spiky, greenish hair and a green outfit was waving enthusiastically to the crowd from the ship's stern.

"Thanks, sir," Harry said gratefully, and immediately pushed forward through the crowd.

"Hang on!" the man called at the wizard's back, eyes wide and shocked. "You're not thinkin' about takin' the exam, are ya? It's impossible! You'll never make it!"

"I did the impossible just coming here!" he called back over his shoulder with a grin. The poor guy would never know just how true that was for Harry. "How much trouble could one little exam be?"

 _Besides_ , Harry thought, remembering his spinning, lost Point Me. _It's the best shot I've at regrouping with Ron and 'Mione._

Skirting around a plethora of people, maneuvering so as to not get his robes trodden upon, the Savior of Magical Britan at last picked his way to the front of the excited crowd and stepped up to the ship's gangplank, where crew members were starting to reboard one by one, each carrying a crate of food and other supplies. A tall and lanky redhead wearing a light blue bandanna, an orange shirt, and khakis stood in front of the gangplank, smiling brightly. As Harry drew near, he said, "Hello, sir. Are you boarding to take the Hunter Exam?"

"Yes, that's correct," the Potter patriarch said with a warm smile. He liked the feeling he got from this man. Being an Auror had given him an acute ability to tell a potential friend from a potential enemy.

The redhead nodded and stepped aside, sweeping his arms toward the lowered gangplank. "Then welcome aboard! My name is Katsuo. Come aboard and feel free to wait on the deck for our departure, or down in the cabins. You may do anything you like to pass the time while on this ship."

"Thank you, Katsuo," Harry said, grateful. He lifted out his hand for the sailor to shake, and the younger man did so happily. Before boarding the ship, he decided to introduce himself. "My name's Harry Potter. I'm pleased to meet you."

Katsuo flushed, embarrassed, and scratched the back of his head. "Thank you, Mr. Potter. I am pleased to meet you, too. Good luck on the Exam."

Grateful to have made a friend already on this journey, Harry thanked him again and boarded.

Already on board the ship were a large number of applicants, most of whom were male, although Harry did spy a few women. Everyone looked like they could at least hold their own in a fight, and most were touching or carrying in pockets/holsters a weapon of some sort. The raven-haired boy wondered if he shouldn't have magically created a weapon for himself before signing up for this. Actually, come to think of it, hadn't the first person he'd met on this whale-shaped island told him that at least fifty people were guaranteed to die taking the Hunter Exam each year?

Sitting down on the mast with a slightly paling face, Harry decided he didn't really want to think about that.

After the crew was done reloading their supplies, which took another ten minutes, Katsuo dashed up the gangplank, which was then raised and put away securely in its proper place somewhere Harry wasn't really paying attention to. It didn't matter in the grand scheme of things and the Gryffindor was _exhausted_. Back home for him, it was past midnight now, nearing more towards one in the morning, and now that he wasn't doing anything except reclining against the mast, all of his grogginess hit him at once.

While the ship departed, a high-pitched young boy's voice shouting gleefully about becoming a Hunter in the background, Harry's eyelids slowly drooped, and he shuffled around a bit in a (fruitless) attempt to find some comfort against the mast. However, the damned thing was too big and hard for him to be able to fall asleep very easily. He tossed and turned, greatly annoyed with being robbed of his precious dreaming times.

How could he take an Exam while low on energy?

Well, then again, Harry reasoned that they probably wouldn't arrive at their destination the next day, so it probably didn't matter _as much_ , but still. He was whupped and now sort of grumpy.

The fact that the other people on board weren't exactly respecting the fact that there was some poor loon _clearly_ trying to catch some z's nearby didn't help matters. The din created by someone dropping a crate was not ideal acoustics for slumber.

"Come on, Katsuo, really?" someone was saying.

"Yeah, at this rate, you'll never make a good sailor, let alone a decent one," snickered someone else.

Harry's heavy eyes opened at that, and he blinked for a few moments to see clearly. When he was at last able to, he frowned deeply. It appeared that Katsuo, the redhead who'd greeted Harry at the gangplank, had dropped a crate of apples and accidentally scattered several across the floor. A couple of the other ship hands were apparently ridiculing him for it, if the previous jeering and the fact that they were pointing and laughing at him were any signs.

That wasn't cool. Harry stood up quickly, angry that they were picking on his new friend. "Oi, you lot!" he said sternly, glaring at the sailors who turned to him with twin frowns. "Leave him alone, he's just trying to do his job."

"Yeah, badly," one of them, a rather rotund fellow who clearly hadn't missed many meals, sneered at Katsuo, who immediately picked up his pace in gathering up the apples.

Harry's annoyance with these obvious overgrown bullies flared, and he moved forward to say something again, but before the words could leave his mouth, someone else spoke up for him.

"Oi, you lot, don't slack off! Get back to work!"

"Y-Yes, captain!" the bullies gulped, and immediately ran off to return to whatever it was they'd been doing previously.

Harry looked to his right to see who this newcomer was, and found himself staring at a heavyset man with a blond beard and mustache that seemed to take up most of his head. He wore a white sailor's cap with an anchor on the front, a red vest, and a nice white v-neck underneath. He was taking a swig from a brown flask.

"So this is the captain of the ship," Harry muttered to himself, filing away the man's description for later reference. It would only help to know who the important people were aboard this vessel.

"Oi!" The captain fixed a stern gaze upon Katsuo, who flinched and looked up. "Didn't you hear me? Pick up that box and put it with the rest!"

"Y-Yes, captain," Katsuo said, a little disappointedly, and stood up quickly. Harry noticed that in his haste to follow the orders, the sailor had accidentally left one juicy-looking, green apple on the ground. He started to move to pick it up.

"Wait, Katsuo, there's still one on the deck!" he called, moving forward to help out, but someone was already there—that same kid with the green color scheme he'd seen before boarding. Now that he was closer up, the wizard was able to see that he had a backpack which a fishing rod was poking out of. Harry had to stare; was this boy, who by the look of him couldn't be over thirteen, be another examinee? That was impossible, right? Why would anyone let such a young kid participate in such a dangerous exam? This guy had to be a cabin boy or something.

"Here you go, Katsuo!" the boy said, tossing the apple to the redhead, who caught it in a panic.

"T-Thank you!" Katsuo said gratefully, rushing off to wherever the storage room was. Harry was too tired to care.

"Well, glad that's solved," Harry yawned to himself, and went to go sit down against the mast again, but almost the moment after he'd closed his eyes, the crying of a large number of seagulls drilled into his ear and his face twitched.

Could this place _please_ just let him sleep? Was that really asking too much? Groaning, Harry clapped his hands over his ears in an attempt to block out the noise. It didn't work very well, however, and probably made him look like a pouting, grumpy kid.

"There's a storm coming soon," a young-sounding voice - that green-themed kid - said thoughtfully. Harry groaned loudly, opened his eyes, and fixed a disappointed glare on the sky. "Really?" he demanded, so tired and that he didn't care what he looked like to anyone else anymore. "A storm on top of everything else? I just want to _sleep_!"

The kid who'd helped Katsuo gather his apples, and who must've been the one to mention the storm coming, laughed awkwardly. "Sorry, mister."

"It's alright, it's not your fault," Harry grumbled, sighing and rolling over while the rotund captain laughed. Damn, this spot was just as uncomfortable as the last. "How did you know about that, anyway?"

"See how the seagulls are circling around in a panic?" The boy pointed up to the sky, and Harry followed it up. Sure enough, high above them, a flock of seagulls flew in tight circles, chattering rapidly and gratingly. "That means there's going to be a storm soon. I explored the forests on Whale Island and watched all the animals, so I know that."

Harry raised an eyebrow. That was a useful ability to have. And back on Whale Island… did that mean this kid was that Gon person the villager told him about earlier?

"Not bad," Harry admitted, impressed. The captain grunted, perhaps in agreement. "Are you Gon?"

The kid stared with wide eyes. "Do you know me?" said Gon, blinking. "I don't think I've met you before."

"The villagers told me about you. Seems like you're famous back there now."

Gon blushed and laughed. "I don't really want a whole lot of fame. I just want to become a Hunter. Who are you?"

"Harry Potter." Harry smiled tiredly and stuck his hand out. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Gon."

The kid's grin stretched across his entire face, and the Briton instantly knew that there was no way he could ever come to dislike that face. Gon was just too adorably innocent and enthusiastic about everything.

"Gon, how do you know for sure that it's a storm that is sending the birds into a frenzy?" the captain said suddenly, drawing both Harry's and the spiky haired kid's attention. The two examinees blinked, and the bearded man elaborated. "There could be multiple reasons why they'd be circling like that. For instance, they could've caught the scent of some fish rising up with the air."

"That's true," Harry said quietly, thinking about that. It did make a lot of sense.

Gon smiled brightly. "Oh, well, that's because I can smell the storm!"

"...Eh?" Harry and the captain stared at him, a little slack-jawed. Now hadn't _that_ been an unexpected answer?

"Here, let me check again," the young test applicant said, sniffing the air. He hummed, sniffed again, and then nodded an affirmative. "It's definitely a storm."

"What are you, a bloodhound?" Harry asked, his jaw definitely touching the floor now.

"Well, I'll be damned," muttered the captain so quietly that the wizard almost missed it. He stared at Gon for a few seconds, then said, "Kid, you said your name's Gon? Where did you say you came from again?"

"Whale Island," Gon replied brightly.

"And why do you want to be a Hunter?"

"My dad's a Hunter but he hasn't been home in twelve years. I want to find him!"

The man's eyes widened with something akin to recognition.

"Does that mean anything?" Harry asked, confused.

"No," the captain said absently, staring at Gon, "perhaps not… but could it really be that time…?"

"Er, sir?"

A moment passed before the captain blinked and shook his head quickly. "No matter. I'll ask you, the same questions. What is your name, and why do you want to be a Hunter?"

That was easy enough. He smiled again, thinking about Ron and Hermione, wherever they were in this world. "Harry Potter, and I want to be a Hunter because I got separated from a couple friends and becoming a Hunter is the best route I have to find them. And if I can help out some people on the way, that would be great."

"I see," the captain said, a hint of approval in his voice. His voice raised as he shouted, "Well, anyway, we need to handle this approaching storm. All hands on deck! Get to your storm positions! The storm will arrive in about two and a half hours! Make sure everything loose is tied down before then! I don't want anything precious breaking, do you lot understand me?"

"Aye aye, captain!" the other sailors all called back in unison as they rushed about from their various previous jobs to follow the man's orders.

Harry watched all of this for a second, staring incredulously at the captain. So he'd known about the storm already, but had still pretended to need that innocent kid's help? What had been the point of that? It didn't seem like the kind of thing a normal ship captain would ask… and the same with those all those questions the captain had asked Harry and Gon. Oh well; if the storm was coming in two hours, then Harry could hopefully get at least _some_ rest before it hit.

He closed his eyes and continued the eternal struggle for a comfortable position.

~o~

"—alright? Oi, old... are… alright?"

"Five more minutes," came Harry's very groggy voice, and he knocked away the hand shaking his shoulder. "Just give me five more minutes and I'll wake up the kids, Gin…"

He yawned and squeezed his emerald eyes shut tighter.

"How are you seriously still asleep, old man?"

"I'm not old yet!" Harry immediately protested, standing up straight and yawning again. "I'm forty! I still have twenty years before I can be called old! Wait…" He blinked, and immediately saw that he was still on a ship with a tall man in a business suit peering at him with surprise etched in his face. It took him a few moments to remember what had happened before he went to sleep, and why he was on a ship at all. Still, he hadn't seen this guy before. "Who the hell are you?"

"Leorio," said… Leorio, who had short, dark hair combed back slickly. Harry was jealous; even now, his own hair _still_ instantly popped back to its naturally messy state any time he tried to fix it up. Harry blinked; Leorio had started talking again. "And seriously, dude, how the hell did you manage to sleep that long?"

"What do you mean?" Harry tilted his head. "It's only been, like, two hours, hadn't it?" He doubted the ship's crew would've left him out here throughout the storm, and he doubted his ability to sleep through said storm even more than that.

"Try a full day," Leorio deadpanned, and the wizard gaped.

"A _day_?" Harry yelped. The only times he'd ever slept that long were when he found himself in the infirmary back in Hogwarts. Which… was actually a disturbingly large number. "And the storm didn't budge me at all?"

"Nope. Slept right through it. It got so ridiculous that I even made a bet with some of the other guys on board on whether or not you'd wake up by the end of it. Thanks, by the way; I'm now thirty thousand Jenny richer thanks to you."

"Jenny? What?"

"Um…" Leorio stared at him. "Jenny."

Harry stared back. "Yeah, what's that? I'm... guessing it's not a girl's name?"

Leorio snorted. "Good one."

"No, I mean…" Harry shook his head, completely lost. There was _definitely_ something he was missing here. "Seriously, what is it?"

"You… you really have no clue?" Leorio deadpanned, and when the wizard nodded, the man in the fancy blue suit practically fell over. "It's money, man, money!" he explained, his voice full of disbelief. "Jenny, the global currency!"

"Oh." Harry blinked; come to think of it, that should've been pretty obvious based on the context of what this man, who appeared to be in his twenties or maybe even thirties, had been saying. "Well, then, um… you're welcome? I guess?"

"Yeah, well, you can thank me for saving your butt, too," Leorio said, a little confused, evidently still floundered at Harry's lack of knowledge about what was apparently this world's currency. "We're already docked. Everyone's already disembarked except you and I, and I almost left you here. The captain tried to wake you up earlier, but you slept right through all of his attempts. He even said that he'd pass you entirely on the fact that you managed to sleep through that whacky storm yesterday, though he'd revoke it if you didn't wake up before they left port."

Harry sweatdropped. Crossing dimensions must have been a lot more taxing on his body than he'd thought.

"Wait, pass? What do you mean, pass?"

"Oh, that's right, you wouldn't have known," Leorio said, mostly to himself. He looked up at Harry and explained. "The captain's apparently one of the examiners," he said, and Harry's mouth opened in a wide O of understanding. That explained the strangeness of the man's questioning and seeking Gon's help when he didn't need it anyway.

"Leorio!" someone called from behind Harry, and he turned and looked around the mast to see Gon standing on the port of a new town, much larger and busier than the one on Whale Island. The speaker appeared to be the blond boy, who wore a white shirt and pants underneath something that Harry imagined would've been perfect on a monk, or perhaps a priest. "Come on already! We don't have time to waste!"

"I'll be right there, Kurapika!" Leorio shouted back, and Harry filed that name in the back of his mind. It wouldn't hurt to know what information he could about his fellow applicants. Leorio grinned at Harry and saluted him goodbye. "Well, anyway, I've gotta go off and meet up with my friends. We've decided to team up to take the exam together. See you at the exam site! Oh, one last thing, the captain said to head for the tree at the top of that hill. See it?"

Harry's eyes rolled up the hillside to see the top, and sure enough, there was one tall tree at the top of the hill, standing proudly against the blue backdrop of the sky.

"Yes, thank you, Leorio," Harry said, and Leorio grinned wider.

"Don't mention it! Well, bye for now!"

And with that, the tall man scampered off to the gangplank, running down it to Gon and… Kurapika. Yes, that was his name.

Harry stretched, feeling himself wake up more and more with each passing second.

 _Well_ , he thought, making his way to the gangplank himself, _I suppose I should get going myself. If I've passed this part of the exam, then I really don't want to be left behind_. _This will be easy, though; all I have to do is get somewhere alone, then Apparate up there. I might even be the first there!_

And so, with an excited step off the gangplank, Harry officially set off on his journey to find the exam site.


	3. Not x A x Metamorphmagus

Chapter 3 - Not x Quite a x Metamorphmagus

As it turned out, Harry _was_ one of the first people to arrive.

With an annoyingly loud crack, Harry popped back into existence at the base of the tree trunk and stumbled a little bit. He was luckily able to stop himself before smashing into the tree. He really didn't need a repeat of that time when he fell out of the Floo fireplace and broke his glasses against the floor. That would just be embarrassing.

 _Now, then,_ Harry wondered, _where should I go from here?_

He examined the hill crest, looking for anything suspicious and exam-site like. The only thing he found was a quaint little wooden house a short distance away. Harry blinked; it didn't seem like the sort of place that thousands of people would go to in order to take a test to become what amounted to paid adventurers, but who knew? Everything was not always what it seemed. Before his second year at Hogwarts, Harry would've never guessed a girl's bathroom could be the entrance to secret networks of tunnels and rooms constructed by Salazar Slytherin, which also happened to be the home of one of the most dangerous known magical beasts known to wizard-kind.

With this thought in mind, Harry decided that his first stop would be this humble home.

He skirted around the edge of the house carefully, keeping a close eye out for any signs of an exam site or trouble. Being an Auror had taught him that one could never be too careful, and so he looked around the grass for any patches of dried blood, searched the walls for any out-of-place marks. It was unlikely to find any such signs of violence on the _outside_ of walls, but it was still good to check.

Not seeing anything, Harry at last found himself in front of the door and pushed it open.

And stared.

Harry Potter had seen a lot of weird crap in his life. He'd seen his archnemesis turned into a weasel, there had been a literal giant squid in his school's lake, and some of his best friends had been pudgy little, cloth-wearing house elves. Not to mention all of the weird shit he'd read about in _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them_. But the humanoid, foxlike beast with golden fur and a strangely rat-ish appearance to its face as well as long, dangerous looking claws?

While that didn't quite take the cake, it was certainly something new.

...And oh, hey, the creature with the mismatched animal genetics was holding onto a young girl with purple hair and what appeared to be traditional Native American garb. Tattoos covered over her skin. The monster was also smiling, but not the happy, friendly sort of smile. No, this smile was the kind that suggested it was going to eat its captive for dinner after killing her.

Harry reacted immediately. "Hey, let go of that girl!" he shouted, his hand moving to whip out his wand from inside his robes before freezing. Was this a magical creature? Did magic even exist in this world? All of these questions were vastly unknown; for all Harry knew, this thing in front of him was just a normal animal in these parts, a simple result of different evolution. Frowning, Harry tensed his muscles and short forward, deciding not to break out his wand just yet. He hadn't used physical violence in his job for a while, but he, like all Aurors, _was_ trained in martial arts just in case someone managed to Disarm him.

Now it was coming in handy.

Even at the age of forty, Harry was fast. He'd retained all his speed from his younger years, amplified by a recent increase in physical exercise. In the blink of an eye, he'd already crossed the ten feet of floor that stood between him and the humanoid, fox-like beast. The creature's eyes widened and it jumped back even as Harry launched forward after it, fully prepared to roundhouse kick it. Instead of falling short, however, Harry surprised himself by travelling a much longer distance midair than he'd have expected to, flying nearly five feet and smashing into the beast. This sent all three of them crashing to the ground.

As the man, monster, and girl tumbled all over each other and generally got tangled up like cords in one's pockets, Harry tried to figure out just how he'd jumped so far when he'd only intended to hop maybe a foot or so. Was this world's gravity a little different from his? Actually, come to think of it, he _did_ feel somewhat lighter than before he'd stepped into the portal; he'd just been too tired to notice this before.

"Get off of me!" the beast growled, annoyed, and Harry was torn from his musings by the shock. This thing could _talk_? Even back home, magical beasts with the knowledge of human language and the ability to communicate in it were few and far between. He could think of maybe one or two examples out of the uncountable number of creatures that possessed this ability.

So then how was this thing talking?

"Are you a metamorphmagus!?" Harry snarled at the creature. That could explain how it was able to talk to him. He kicked at it and squirmed against it, grabbed the girl, and at last managed to untangle both of them from the foxy thing and hop away. He again misjudged the distance of the hop and ended up leaping farther than he'd meant to.

"Metamorphmagus?" The beast tilted its head as it stumbled to its feet. "What's that? I'm a Kiriko."

Kiriko? "What's that?" Harry said, now more confused than anything. He pushed the girl behind him with one arm and slid into a fighting stance.

"You don't know? I'm a creature born with the ability to transform into other living things."

"Like humans…" Harry narrowed his eyes. So if this was some biological trait, then that meant it wasn't magical. And the ability to transform into other living things certainly explained the human speech. But wait… the danger senses Harry had gained from his job told him that something here was still off; and no, it wasn't that injured man lying unmoving on the floor some feet away, whom he had only just now noticed.

Before he'd attempted to save her, the young lady behind him hadn't bothered making any attempts at escaping her captor. And she still had yet to thank him; if she'd been in danger, she should've thanked him for saving her life by now.

These Kiriko could take a human form.

Could it be…?

"You…" Harry said slowly, turning to the girl and backing away from her. The lady blinked, concern and surprise filling up her features; the concern was false, but the surprise was real. He kept a careful eye on both the woman and her previous captor. "You're not actually human, are you? You're another Kiriko, just like him."

A tense moment hung in the air, in which Harry nervously wondered if his instincts had been wrong.

"...Very good!" the girl laughed at last, and Harry quickly reaffirmed his stance. "It's been ages since anyone was able to tell that! Your intuition is quite sharp." She giggled happily, and in front of her, the other creature was laughing as well.

"Yes, well done!" the first one chuckled, shaking his head and turning to the supposedly unconscious man lying on the floor. "Did you hear all that, son? Looks like we've found someone worthy!"

Okay… this was unexpected. So this… family of Kiriko was _praising_ him for calling her out?

"Um, sorry… what?" He tilted his head.

"You're an applicant for the Hunter Exam, right?" the first Kiriko asked, grinning, and a very confused Harry nodded. "Well, we're both examiners and Navigators! We choose the best candidates out of the hundreds who come to us, and escort them to the Exam. My wife is actually still on her way back from escorting someone right now."

"So, wait, let me get this straight…" Harry said slowly. "You're working for this exam? And this was a mock test to see how I would do in this sort of situation?"

"That's right!" the woman, who Harry assumed must be the first Kiriko's daughter, said excitedly. "And no one else has ever figured out our little trick so quickly before! We didn't even have time to have you chase us through the forest! You are a very bright individual, and you trust your instincts well."

"On top of that," the son said, standing up and dusting himself off while ignoring the slight scratches on his skin, "the moment you saw my sister in what appeared to be the arms of a predator, you immediately moved to save her without even thinking about it."

"Therefore," the father of the family concluded, "due to your quick reactions and ability to almost immediately see through our trick, you pass!"

Harry relaxed, falling out of his stance and rubbing the back of his neck. His ears flushed pink. "Well, gee, I'm not really that good, but thanks," he mumbled, a smile tugging at his lips.

"Don't thank us for it," said the daughter with a smile. "It was all your skill that made you pass. Since Mom's not here at the moment, I'll be your Navigator, mister…?"

Harry blinked. That was right, he hadn't introduced himself to these Kiriko yet. "My name is Harry Potter, ma'am," he said smoothly.

The young lady chuckled and smiled. "I like your accent. It's unusual but cute."

"I'm already taken and probably twice your age, besides," he deadpanned.

"Shame. You're quite handsome."

Harry was pretty sure his entire face was red by now. He was sort of glad Ginny wasn't here; the poor female Kiriko would already be swarmed by Bat Bogeys if that had been the case.

The son, who like his sister was still in his human form and Native American clothing, shoved the purplette with a roll of his eyes. " _Sis_ …"

"You have the way to the exam memorized, right, daughter?" asked the father, who nodded cheerfully.

"Sure do!"

Harry tilted his head. "How will we be getting there?"

"Don't ask silly questions." Before his very eyes, wings suddenly sprouted on the girl's back, and she grew in size until she was towering over him in the same form as the creature Kiriko. "Why else would we go any method other than flying when I am big enough to carry you and can take any form I like?"

"...Good point."

"Now come along, you hunk, and hold on tightly to my legs. If you let go and fall to your death, it won't be my fault."

Harry suddenly got the feeling this ride would not be as fun as flying on his old Firebolt.


	4. Evil x Is x Petty

Chapter 4 - Evil x Is x Petty

"Remind me," Harry gasped once the Kiriko girl and he had at last landed at their destination, "never to let you take me flying again." His heart was still pounding in a very unhealthily strong manner, and he'd nearly had a heart attack from the fear of dropping thousands of feet and becoming a grease stain on the ground at least a dozen times.

The Kiriko, who had reverted to her human state as a purple-haired Native American-looking girl, simply giggled and waved. "You had fun."

"I nearly died at least twelve times in as many hours! I barely got any sleep because of it! You did _not_ hold onto me tightly at _all_!"

"You're just in denial," the transforming lady giggled, and Harry sagged. It was useless trying to explain how utterly terrified he'd been. At least the fact that he'd slept a whole day before last night meant that he wasn't really tired now, even after around thirteen hours of wakefulness.

"Just point me to the direction I'm supposed to go," he said tiredly, and the Kiriko rolled her eyes, smiling in amusement.

She pointed straight in between two buildings in the city that they'd arrived in; one extremely tall, fancy high-rise, and a short, squat little place that vaguely reminded Harry of those ramen shops from that animated cartoon his son James liked to watch sometimes. His eyes fell upon the building, and he stared. They slowly rolled upwards, and while he'd certainly seen much taller buildings in English cities and on one vacation to the United States, he couldn't help but feel that sense of awe of feeling something completely and totally dwarf him.

"...That's where the Hunter's Exam is taking place?" he said after a moment of staring at the brick building with white columns and braces holding it up. He briefly wondered just how many people were really going to be taking the test if they had to have such a huge high-rise to fit all of them in, but a high-pitched chuckle stopped his thoughts.

"No; we wouldn't want to have it in such an obvious place. No, no, the exam is in the little restaurant next to it."

Feeling himself go slack-jawed a little, he turned back to the little place that the Navigator was pointing to. Yep, the thing was _small_ , espec

Harry stared. "...What?"

"You heard me, hunk," the Kiriko deadpanned.

"You're having an exam for adventurers, an exam which people are willing to throw away everything they have, and an exam in which I've been told at least fifty people die each year… in a restaurant that looks like it can't even hold over thirty people."

"Yep."

He did not take his incredulous gaze off of his Navigator's back as she strolled up with a skip in her step to the little joint.

"You're joking."

"Nope," she said, popping the _p_ , and she swept the door open with an extravagant flourish. "Our job as Navigators is to guide people to the exam site, which changes every year, and naturally, they'd want it to be as inconspicuous a place as possible; otherwise, the point of us even being Navigators in the first place would be null. Now come along, Harry Potter! You don't want to stand out here waiting all day. The time for applicants to come ends in a little over two hours."

 _...Okay_ , Harry thought to himself, sweatdropping as he reluctantly followed her into the restaurant, _I guess this isn't the_ weirdest _entrance for a secret location I've ever seen. I mean, to get to Diagon Alley, you have to tap some bricks in a wall behind a bar with a long stick._

The theme and atmosphere of the inside of the restaurant only further emphasized its ramen-shop like appearance. Banners with something that looked kind of like kanji but more emphasized on straight lines hung above the wall, probably describing the menu and prices. The counter itself opened right into the kitchen, and indeed, a grill was nestled right up against it, with delicious-smelling meat sizzling. Harry's stomach growled, and he suddenly realized that he had not eaten anything these past couple days. He'd spent so much time traveling and sleeping that he really hadn't even had the time to think about food, but now he realized he was _famished._

"Welcome," said the chef, dressed in the average white coat and big, muffin-looking hat.

The female Kiriko waved as Harry slid the door shut softly behind him. "Thank you. Is the back room open?"

The chef looked up at her, his face devoid of any telling emotion. "What would you like?"

"The steak combo that opens your eyes to the light," she said. Immediately the chef stiffened. "For one."

"How would you like them?"

"Grilled over a low flame, until cooked."  
"Got it," the chef sighed. He waved his hand to his right. "Let yourself into the back room."

Harry's stomach growled. That definitely sounded like some code words, but a nice, piping hot steak sounded _amazing_. As his Navigator headed for the back and motioned for him to follow her, he scratched his head and said quietly, "Um, actually, since we still have a couple hours left… do you think you could buy me some food?"

"Eh?" The girl stopped and turned back to him, blinking.

The wizard laughed awkwardly. "Well, you see, it's just that I haven't eaten in a couple days… And I'm afraid I don't have money, but I'll definitely pay you back after I pass the Exam."

The female Kiriko stared at him, and just as Harry was beginning to feel rather self-conscious about having to ask a girl to pay for his meal when he was a man with a stable job and a wife, she threw her head back and started giggling intensely.

"Sure, why not!?" she chortled with a wide grin. "Oi, chef! Actually, get this guy your best beef and noodles, too! No one outside of my family has made me laugh this hard in years!"

 _What_. "You're paying for my meal because I made you _laugh_?" Harry demanded, which only renewed the woman's uproarious giggling. The poor forty-year-old slumped over, hanging his head in despair. The sooner he could get away from this insane Navigator, the better. Well, at least he was getting a good meal out of it…

One completely amazing plate of beef and noodles and one rather long elevator ride (without even any bad, old music to accompany it!) later, Harry found himself far underneath the quaint ramen shop in what appeared to be an oversized sewer. It was wide and tall, with green brick walls, dim lighting whose source came from flickering lamps which hung from the ceiling, and corrugated pipes that ran along the walls. Luckily, there wasn't any creeks of water with people's dung and piss down here, so at least it didn't smell bad. It still reminded him all too much of the Chamber of Secrets, though.

Also, the place was _packed_ with people of all shapes, colors, and clothing. Seriously, there was even one guy who looked like he was a bald ninja.

"Ah, a new applicant?" someone asked, and Harry looked around for the speaker. No people seemed to be looking at him like they were trying to talk to him, though, and so he stuck his finger in his ear and wiggled it around, checking to see if there was any dirt buried in there. Was he just mishearing something? "Down here!"

Eh?

Harry looked down at his feet.

And standing there with a warm smile, carrying a tag that read "number 333," was some ridiculously short fellow in a black suit with green skin, whose hairless head was shaped like a bean.

"...Hi?" Harry said uncertainly.

"Hello!" said the… bean person. "Please take this number!"

Blinking, Harry slowly accepted the number, noticing that all of the other applicants whom he could see had one such number pinned to their chests.

"Good luck on the exam!"

And just as quickly as he had appeared, the little bean guy scampered off out of sight.

Harry gaped after him. "Did… that just happen?" he said to himself.

Luckily, he was distracted from his concerns about there being literal bean people in this world by someone calling, "Oi, you there!" He turned to the direction of the greeting, and saw a smiling man, heavyset, wearing a blue v-neck vest and grey clothes underneath. A white pin like Harry's, only with the number 16 printed on it, hung on his chest. Strangely, he was sitting on one of the pipes on the walls, and the wizard wondered just how he'd managed to heave his overweight self up there.

"Hello," said Harry, narrowing his eyes. He didn't like the vibe he got from this guy. That smile looked very fake, and he did not at all like the look in his eyes.

"I don't believe I've ever seen you here," the man said, and with a bit of a grunt, he pushed himself off the pipe and landed surprisingly lightly on the stone ground. "My name's Tonpa. I'm pretty much a veteran of this Exam. My first time taking it was when I was ten, and this will be my thirty-fifth attempt. That's how I could tell you're new; I remember just about everyone who's taken this exam."

"I see," Harry said slowly, and now he _really_ didn't like the feel from this guy. He'd taken the Hunter's Exam thirty four times before this? While his stubbornness was admittedly commendable, there was no way any normal person wouldn't have simply given up after that many attempts. He either had a truly ridiculous grasp on his confidence, or there was some subplot for his still being here.

Tonpa raised his eyebrow in what might appear to be genuine concern to anyone other than an Auror trained to detect signs of false emotion. "You seem rather cold, friend," Tonpa said sadly, digging into his pocket and pulling out a can of juice. "That's no way to talk to a buddy. I'd warn against that kind of hostility towards the other applicants, though; there's some people here that you _really_ don't want to get into the bad side of."

Harry raised his eyebrow. So Tonpa was willing to hand out information on some of the other applicants, then? That was useful, actually. Even if it turned out to be not entirely true, even knowing the smallest bit would be helpful in getting ahead of them. "I'm listening," Harry said, more friendlier than how he'd spoken before. "Who should I watch out for?"

"Well, for starters…" Tonpa glanced nervously at some guy in the crowd of applicants, about four or five heads away. The person was tall and dressed like a clown, flipping some cards between his fingers, his red hair pulled upwards and back in perfect spikes. "That man in the clown outfit is Hisoka, the magician. He's probably one of the most powerful, if not the most powerful, hopeful this year. This is actually his second attempt. He probably would have passed last year, but he brutally mutilated an examiner he didn't like, and killed twenty other people who tried to stop him. Because of the rules for the Exam that year, they disqualified him immediately."

Harry winced and clutched his head. Images of Death Eaters torturing innocent people, killing terrified civilians, and leaving behind wakes of gruesome bodies in their paths bubbled to the surface of his memory. He shook himself out of the memories of the second war against Voldemort, and with much paler skin pulled his gaze away from Hisoka, and back to Tonpa. He made a mental note to keep a _very_ close eye on the clown man, lest he do something so horrible as that again this year.

"Any others?" Harry asked, and Tonpa nodded, pointing to the bald man to Harry's front and right.

"That man there is Hanzo. He claims to be a ninja, and from what I can see, he has a large amount of skill. He's a rookie this year, though, like you, so I don't know much about him. There's also number 99, Killua, who has a really disturbing feel about him despite being a mere kid; you'll want to stay away from him."

"Okay, thank you," Harry said with genuine gratefulness. This information was certainly helpful. He didn't fail to notice the very quiet, relieved sigh that the big-bellied exam veteran let out. Tonpa shook the can of juice he still carried in his hand.

"So, what do you say, partner?" Tonpa said cheerfully, offering the can to him with a fake smile. "A toast to our new friendship?"

"Hmm…" Harry hummed, closing his eyes and rubbing his finger against his chin as though he were _really_ thinking about it, and then after a few seconds, he turned and strolled away. "Nah, I don't accept gifts from people trying to poison me."

Tonpa sputtered behind him, and the wizard frowned. So his instincts had been right. The fact that he was stammering something unintelligible instead of vehemently denying any attempts to poison anyone were proof enough of his guilt. And just like that, Harry understood why Tonpa still had the willpower to return to this Hunter Exam even after thirty four years' worth of failures; he just wanted to crush any rookies dumb enough to fall for his ploy. There probably wasn't even a reason for why he did it; he probably just liked seeing people's dreams be dashed on the ground and smeared in dirt. Evil, Harry had learned long ago, could be ridiculously petty.

Now, he supposed, it was time to simply rest and wait for the Exam to start, while avoiding anyone suspicious-looking.

~o~

Harry spent the last hour power napping, simply to make sure he was on full power when the Hunter's Exam began. He discreetly cast an Alarm Charm to wake him up before the end of the application period, and had a nice, dreamless nap. When his eyes fluttered open to the dim light of the underground tunnel, he was pleased to find that it had worked perfectly and that everyone was still waiting here. He stood up and stretched, enjoying the feeling of his back cracking, until—

"AAAAAAAAAAARGH!"

Someone's piercing scream, filled with terror and agony, echoed through the tunnel, and Harry, wide-eyed and heart pounding, swiveled around in search of the source.

Said source appeared to be a man who was now unmoving on the ground, his arms completely gone from the calves down, blood splattered everywhere. Harry felt sick. Even after so many years of fighting against Voldemort, or cleaning up his Death Eaters' presence, or cracking down on Dark wizards that popped up from time to time, he had never once gotten used to the sight of a cruelly marred, twisted corpse with its eyes wide and its mouth permanently opened in a silent cry of fear. A bead of cold sweat running down the side of his cheek, Harry slowly looked up from the body, and a shiver ran down his spine at the sight of none other than Hisoka the red-haired, clown-themed magician standing over the dead body, away from the blood. A terrible smirk turned the other man's lips up.

"Oh?" Hisoka said in a curious voice, mocking innocence. "Look at that. His arms appear to have disappeared. No smoke and mirrors here." As a jolt of both fear and anger stabbed Harry through his heart, Hisoka smirked and taunted the corpse. "Do take care. When you bump into someone, you should apologize."

And with that, as if he _hadn't_ just taken someone's life in a cruel and unusual manner, he walked into the crowd as easily as though he were going to work.

 _He did that because that man_ bumped into _him!?_ Harry gaped, drawing in a dry breath of awed horror. That was just a new level of pettiness. And where were the man's arms, anyway? There was neither hide nor hare of them in the surrounding group of people, all of whom had backed far away from the incident.

 _What should I do?_ Harry wondered, reaching underneath his robes and grasping his wand. _Should I attack him? If he goes unchecked, there's no telling how many people he'll kill if something as small as being bumped into triggers his killing instincts._ He swallowed dryly. _And he looks smart enough that if I miss, he'll be able to trace the direction of any spells fired to me. Plus, this tunnel is so packed with people that I would not only be breaking the Statutes of Secrecy, but smashing them to absolute pieces_. _But still, he just killed a man in cold blood and then joked about it…_

His heart feeling like it was about to burst out of his chest, Harry slipped his precious eleven inch wand a few centimeters out of his shirt pocket, then hesitated. The feeling he was getting from Hisoka was like a monstrous dragon looking upon an ant.

The sudden loud and obnoxious ringing of… _something_ made the already-on-edge Potter patriarch jump, and he quickly turned forward to see the stone wall at the far front of the tunnel rise up into the ceiling with remarkable efficiency, and quite a lot of ear-splitting grinding.

And there, walking under the rising door, was a tall man with purple hair and an equally purple, curly moustache. He… also appeared to have no mouth. The strangeness of this distracted Harry from his debate over what to do about Hisoka. Even stranger still, the mouthless man started _talking_.

"I apologize for the wait," he said, looking rather bored in his black suit and red tie. "The entry period for Hunter applicants has ended. The Hunter Exam will now begin!"

Harry blinked. Wait, all of those mini tests before this weren't even a part of the actual exam?

He was very confused.

"A final caution," warned the tall, bored man. "If you are short on luck or ability, you could very well end up seriously injured or even dead."

Harry swallowed. So what that man back on Whale Island had said about at least fifty people dying each year was probably true. He really hoped that twelve-year-old kid, Gon hadn't made it to the start of this apparently deadly test, especially with the presence of the actually evil clown in their midst.

(That was a sentence he'd never thought that he'd say.)

As the purple-haired fellow continued his speech, he didn't show any signs of emotion. "Those who accept the risks, please follow me. Otherwise, please exit via the elevator behind you."

A minute passed. Nobody moved.

"Very well. All four hundred and five applicants will participate in Phase One."

And with that, the Hunter (or at least, since he appeared to be running this part of the exam, Harry assumed he was a Hunter) turned swiftly and walked. In a very robotic motion. Harry sweatdropped as he, along with the other examinees, followed him, and he explained that he was the examiner for Phase One of the Hunter Exam.

 _He doesn't have a mouth, and his arms and legs are swinging completely stiff and straight,_ he thought in amusement. _Maybe he_ is _a robot. And 405 applicants? I'm number 333… I guess a lot of applicants made it here in the final hour. I don't think either of these things really even surprise me all that much, though. At this point, I don't think anything else this world could throw at me would surprise me._

Oh, how very wrong Harry was. How _dreadfully_ wrong.


	5. Phase x One x Begins

Chapter 5 - Phase x One x Begins

So, what did the first phase of an exam based around allowing people to gain incredible access to worldwide travel, become mercenaries, and killing around fifty people each year consist of?

Running.

Lots. And lots. Of running.

Harry was beginning to think this was a mistake.

It was already sixty kilometers into the run, and he felt like hell. His legs were steel rods, stiff and refusing to bend very far any more. His entire body was a bonfire, hot and tinged red. His clothes felt like they were so sticky with his own sweat that they'd never be able to be peeled off his body, even if they were magically dried or Banished. His lungs were refusing to work properly as his heart beat what felt like hundreds of times faster than the healthy average.

"I wish… I had… a Pepper-Up Potion…" Harry ground out weakly, salty wetness rolling down his eyelids and then unfortunately getting in his eyes. He blinked away the sweat and shook his head like a dog. Everything hurt. The monotony of the tunnel was killing him, too, although the fact that they were all approaching a tall staircase was reassuring. Even so, the only reason he still had the ability to go on even now was because of magic. Speaking of…

" _Industria_ ," Harry panted under his breath, and gasped in relief as a wave of energy washed over him. It was a very useful charm none other than Hermione had invented a few years ago as a healthy replacement for coffee and as a means to get the citizens of magical Britan both young and old exercising more. It magically fixed up any exhaustion and stress experienced in the past half-hour, to a certain degree. It couldn't heal injuries, hunger, or thirst, and it couldn't replace sleep. It was very useful in times like this, however.

Harry had been making sure to recast the charm with every half hour and no sooner, no later, to ensure he got its full potential. In order to avoid suspicion, he'd been casting it wandless, too; otherwise, he could've rejuvenated himself for up to a full hour at a time. The half-hour limit was due to the lessened effectiveness of the wandless casting.

He was glad that he had this useful of a charm in his repertoire, too; had he not been able to use it, he would have given up and collapsed in the tunnel long ago. He wouldn't have been the only one, though, at least. One by one, the strangers running with him were dropping on the ground, shaking and unable to continue any further. Harry felt bad for them. It was really a shame that not everyone could be born with magic.

"OOOOOOOORA!" a semi-familiar voice shouted, and then suddenly a blur of blue swooshed past him, making Harry gape. Just who had that been, to have this much energy even after sixty kilometers of straight running at a marathon veteran's pace? They had to have been some kind of monster.

He blinked as the blur slowed down to a reasonable pace (although still much faster than a lot of the other remaining applicants) some distance ahead of him, and his eyes widened. He recognized that blue suit and that hair style, even from the back; it was that other man, Leorio!

Harry had to stare at that for a second. He hadn't pegged Leorio as being all that physically… capable.

His feet pounded against the ground relentlessly, his ears ringing with the sound. He didn't think he'd ever _unhear_ it.

…

Wait. Leorio? Harry's brain momentarily stopped. Did that mean that… Gon was here, too!? That way-too-innocent-for-his-own-good twelve year old, taking a deadly test with a probably psychopathic murderer/clown?

He searched around desperately, looking for green hair and a green jacket. No such telling signs of Gon were visible in front of him. He sighed and grinned, his sweat-soaked hair falling in his face. That made sense; Gon was a twelve year old kid from a small island. How could he have stayed ahead of him for this long? Shaking his head at himself, Harry glanced over his shoulder and examined the examinees (he allowed himself a brief smile; Fred would've appreciated that accidental joke. The smile abruptly faded.) behind him. No Gon there. He looked over his other shoulder. For a moment, he still saw nothing, but then he spied the boy he was looking for… who appeared to be not even the slightest bit tired.

So Gon had made it here after all, too. Harry wasn't sure how that made him feel. On the one hand, that was incredibly amazing for Gon to have arrived at the first Phase and still be running without the slightest bit of exhaustion. On the other hand, _Hisoka_. On one foot, Gon was his own person with no obligation to do anything Harry might tell him to, and Harry himself had barreled headfirst into countless dangerous missions when _he_ had been a teen. On the other foot, _Hisoka_.

"So then what should I do?" Harry growled to himself, wringing his hands through his hair as he turned back to face forward. Man, being older and wiser was tough sometimes. He somewhat missed the days when he was younger and more rash and his decisions usually turned out alright anyway.

At last, Harry decided that he couldn't just do _nothing_ , after all, so he pretended to take a break from running. The other contestants started to race past him en route to the staircase that lay directly ahead of them, and he thought that a group of three guys who looked like brothers might have been jogging in place next to him, trying to talk to him, but his attention was focused on Gon… and the white-haired kid whom he had spotted running alongside the boy.

Luckily, he didn't have to wait very long, for suddenly Gon and the cool, collected little white-haired boy suddenly sped past him, neck-and-neck with each other. His eyes widened. They were going even faster than they had been before, faster than he'd been running before he'd stopped! The amount of energy these two had was absolutely insane. Staring in disbelief, Harry shook himself out of his surprise. He was now the last one in the pack, with Gon and his apparent new friend being tied for second-to-last.

Perfect.

Harry pulled out his wand and hit it under his robes before pointing it at Gon. Then he whispered, " _Vestigium sphaeram_!" before whispering it again while pointing his wand at Gon's friend. He didn't know anything about this kid, but he looked like he was twelve, too, so he had to keep an eye on him as well.

And that was the exact purpose of his use of the Tracking Spell, _Vestigium sphaeram_. It was a spell Harry had used several times in important cases over the course of his Auror career, and was very helpful for tracking people. It gave you a one-way link to location and emotions of those it was cast upon. He had decided to use it in this case so that if they started to feel terribly afraid, he would know they were being hunted by Hisoka.

Speaking of which…

Harry's eyes fell upon the staircase ahead of him as he struck up a running pace again. Aha, there he was! Hisoka, the strange but terrifying redhead, whose presence even now made Harry feel like he was fourteen again, staring up at the Norwegian Ridgeback as it growled and bared its teeth at him. He swallowed; he had a clean shot. He pointed his wand at the man's back, and hissed out the Tracking Spell's incantation.

A thin beam of yellow light sped through the air, landing directly on its target.

And Hisoka froze, stiffening, before turning slowly, his eyes roaming across the sea of running applicants.

Then he noticed Harry.

And he _grinned_ and _licked his lips_.

A chill ran down Harry's spine. What the actual _fuck_? It wasn't common that Harry swore, or used Muggle swears at that, but this time was fully deserving of it. Hisoka had somehow felt the spell being used on him? It wasn't supposed to be able to be felt when casted on a person. And not only that, but how the _hell_ did Hisoka know it was him who had cast it when the man had been facing the complete opposite direction the whole time? And _what the fuck was that face_?

No, seriously, what the _fuck_ was with that face? Harry felt like he was going to get raped or something, which was _definitely_ not a pleasant feeling.

Hisoka's mouth moved, and Harry distantly thought that the redhead might have been silently saying, _Meet with me later_.

Harry's blood chilled, and with a _vicious_ smirk, the killer (and now possibly homosexual) clown turned back around and continued running up the steps.

Swallowing dry air, Harry mentally opened his connections with Gon, the white-haired kid, and Hisoka. The two teens were drawing near Hisoka, and although none of them seemed focused on each other, the redhead's presence through the spell felt… _turned on?_... by Harry.

The wizard gulped as he took the first few stairs at an impressive stride.

Was it too late to back out of the Exam? Because he kind of wanted to back out of the Exam.

Life had been so much simpler before he'd stepped through that stupid portal.

~o~

Fresh air! Light! Above ground!

At long, long, last, the running was done. Harry couldn't have been happier. Well, actually, he could've, if the examiner—who was apparently called Satotz—had decided to fail Hisoka. Sadly, that wasn't the case.

After being the last one to emerge from the stairwell, thanks to his endeavor to track Gon, the white-haired kid, and Hisoka, the Boy-Who-Lived found himself on the top of a hill overlooking a vast marshland. He panted, his knees weak; his half hour for the Energy Charm still hadn't been used up yet. Now that they were at the end of the course, though, he supposed it didn't matter how efficient he was in his usage of the spell, so he simply repeated the incantation and sighed happily at the feeling of his physical stress and fatigue being pushed from his body. Those stairs had been absolute _torture_. Not even his Auror training had been that much hell.

Sitting in front of him were Gon, his new friend, Leorio, and Kurapika, although Gon appeared to be standing up to get a better view of the marsh.

"Wow!" the kid breathed in awe. "It looks cool!"

"I guess you like nature, huh, Gon?" Harry greeted, walking up to the group and sitting beside Leorio.

The four turned to him, blinking. Gon grinned, and Leorio's eyes widened in recognition.

"Oh, hey, Harry!" Gon said cheerfully, waving. "You made it just in time!"

The old man of their friend group, Leorio, gasped and sat up straight. "Oi, I remember you! You're that old man who was sleeping on the ship!"

Harry's eye twitched. "Old man? I told you, I'm forty, not old! I can't be much older than you, anyway!"

"EH!?" Leorio sputtered furiously as, for some reason, Gon, the other resident twelve year old, and Kurapika exchanged amused looks before bursting into suppressed chuckles. "I'M NOT OLD, YOU RUDE GEEZER!"

"Hey, I'm not a…! Wait, what do you mean?" The wizard tilted his head in confusion. "You look like you're my age, maybe five years younger."

"I'M A TEENAGER!" Leorio fumed, and Harry's brain stalled for a few seconds.

"...Come again?"

Gon, his friend, and Kurapika's silent chuckles significantly increased in volume and ferocity.

"I. Am. Nine. Teen!" the ( _YOUNG!?_ ) man said slowly, enunciating the words very carefully like he was talking to a little toddler. Harry just gaped, trying to match that height and those facial features with a nineteen year old.

"...Yeah, sorry, I am just _not_ seeing it," Harry deadpanned, and was very surprised when Leorio's eyes suddenly went all white and squinty.

" _Here, I'll just show you my ID!_ " Leorio growled. He reached into his pocket, whipped out a wallet, and opened it up, tapping a white card in one of the wallet's card holders. Harry squinted at it and stared blankly at the writing on the card.

"I can't read," Harry admitted at last, shaking his head at Leorio, who groaned and smacked his palm against his face.

"You're forty years old and you _can't read_? Man, you really are a geezer."

Now Harry's eye was _really_ twitching, but he calmed himself down and rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. "Yeah, it's something that I'm trying to fix," he said. "It's just that the place I come from has a different written language than that." Which wasn't a lie at all. "Anyway, Gon, why don't you introduce your friends to me?"

"Oh!" The green haired kid stopped laughing and blinked. "Yeah, sure, Harry!" He turned to his friends and grinned while he motioned to the eldest Potter. "Guys, this is Harry Potter. Harry, these are Leorio," (here he pointed to the still-grumbling _young_ man) "Kurapika," (here he pointed to the blond, who offered Harry a friendly wave and a warm smile) "and Killua." (Here he pointed to the white-haired kid.)

Harry blinked.

Wait, _Killua_? That name rang a bell. Wasn't that one of the applicants that Tonpa had mentioned? And actually, now that he thought about it, Tonpa _had_ said that Killua was a twelve-year-old and… had the number 99 tag. But… man, Killua didn't really _feel_ that dangerous to Harry. He just seemed like a nice kid.

"It's nice to meet you all," he said, nodding his head at them. He smiled at Leorio and rubbed the back of his head. "Sorry we got off on the wrong foot today, Leorio."

The spiky-haired man sighed despairingly. "Oh, it's alright. These guys thought I was old, too… Besides, you were nice back on the boat, so I won't hold it against you."

Harry grinned. The nineteen-year-old was a pretty nice guy.

He would've said more, but the examiner, Satotz, chose that time to start talking. "The Numere Wetlands," he said, pointing to the swamp drowned in fog below the hill, and Harry still had no idea how the dude talked without… having a mouth. "Also known as the Swindler's Swamp. We must cross these wetlands to get to Phase Two of the Hunter Exam. This place is home to many bizarre animals, many of them being cunning, insatiable creatures who deceive humans and prey upon them. Be very careful."

Satotz, standing in the front of the pack of Hunter examinees, turned to them all and raised his finger. His moustache twitched as he continued speaking.

"If you let them trick you, you're dead."

Harry swallowed.

People were probably going to die here, he realized. His skin itched. He wanted to stop that from happening, but there were so many people here. Just looking at all of the different hairstyles and hats poking up from the crowd, he guessed at least 300 were still in the running. Probably more than that. He heard Satotz saying more from the corner of his ear, but Harry was more focused on the issue of what to do. He had to keep Gon and his friends away from Hisoka, while staying a healthy distance from the man as well. But he also didn't want to have any of these people die here.

He might not know them, but they all probably had families, a whole life of their own to return to. And yet, at the same time, they had all entered this Phase knowing their lives could be on the line. Would it be fair to go against their conviction like this?

Harry chewed his lower lip.

 _If I see anyone in danger_ , he decided at last, nodding to himself, _I will save them. I won't go looking to potentially put myself in a dangerous spot, though. Ginny's waiting for me back home. I have to return to her, who so patiently agreed that I could go on this last great adventure. And I have to find Ron and Hermione, too_.

"I just said that they can't," Leorio was grumbling as Harry lifted from his mental debate.

He blinked. "What?"

"D-Don't fall for it…" a raspy voice croaked, and with growing confusion, Harry followed the turning of everyone else's heads to the right.

Stumbling out from behind the tunnel's exit was a raggedy man who looked like he'd been through torture. His skin was dashed with claw marks that raked across his cheeks and chin. A mixture of dirt and blood dripped from his face. He staggered, so weak and frail that he seemed as though he might collapse from a single gust of wind, like a piece of vertical paper in a tornado.

"That m-man," the newcomer choked out, pointing with a trembling finger to the stone-faced Satotz. Harry noticed that the man's shirt sleeve was ripped. This was strange, though, because there was no dirt or blood around the tear nor any sign of injury on the skin underneath. The rest of the man's clothes were clean, as well. "That m-man… is lying to all of you! He's an imposter!"

"What's he talking about?" Harry whispered to Leorio.

Leorio looked at him with terrified eyes. "You didn't hear? Satotz was talking about how the creatures in the swamp will do anything to deceive a human. But… maybe Satotz was trying to deceive us, too!"

"Him?" Harry narrowed his eyes at Satotz. It was true that the purple-haired, lanky man moved like a robot and had no visible mouth, but he'd made no attempts to eat any of them. Satotz hadn't even looked at any of them hungrily, the way a predator might (i.e. Hisoka). And for some reason, Harry was getting a minute feeling of hidden power from the man in black. He didn't know why, but it felt like a very _human_ power. His magic itched with it.

"So, wait," Harry said slowly but loudly, "Satotz was talking about how the creatures in this swamp will do anything to deceive you…" He turned to the man with dirt all over his face, who trembled even as he stood, and raised an eyebrow. "And then you immediately happened to come around from that corner? Right then?"

"Yes…" the man coughed, pounding his chest and doubling over. "He attacked a friend of mine and me, ate my friend, and left me for dead while I was waiting for the first applicant." A wave of tense murmuring washed over the applicants. "I finally managed to get back here and warn all of you! Run away from him, come with me! I know a safe place where he won't get to any of you! Do not trust him!"

"W-W-Which one is it!?" a very confused Leorio gasped, looking between the bloodied man and the silently observing Satotz. "I don't know who is the real one!"

Harry narrowed his eyes, studying the supposed 'real examiner.' _For a man who's supposedly on death's door as he's claiming to be, whose throat is covered with something like blood and appears to have been attacked, his speech just cleared up awfully well_.

"Who are the examiners?" Harry whispered to Kurapika as the rest of the applicants slowly backed away from Satotz. "Why were they hired to be examiners in the first place?"

"They all are Hunters," the blond replied, his brown eyes regarding Harry appraisingly. "Why are you asking?"

Shifting his black robes for greater comfort, Harry hummed. "And these Hunters… would they happen to be likely to lose to a swamp creature?"

"I wouldn't see it happening," Kurapika confirmed. "They're trained to be the strongest of the strongest."

"I see." Harry's eyes fell upon the 'real' examiner, while Satotz watched with a raised eyebrow. "Oi!" the wizard spoke up, lowering his voice for more emphasis. "What proof do you have that you're the real examiner? If you were the real one, I bet you'd have proof of being a Hunter."

Unseen by Harry, Hisoka's eyes fell upon him from the midst of the crowd, and a sly grin turned up his lips.

"P-Proof?" The conspiracy claimer hesitated for a moment, his light brown hair swaying as a very slight breeze rolled over the hilltop. Then he reached behind the wall of the tunnel exit and pulled over a dead corpse of a very large monkey with nasty, jagged teeth, and he appeared to have Satotz's face. Harry's eyes widened, and he tensed his muscles.

Another Kiriko? Were there evil Kiriko who hunted humans in Swindler's Swamp?

"Agh! It's Satotz's face!" Leorio gulped, pointing at the dead monkey with blood-splattered brown fur.

"This is a man-eating ape," the injured man explained, "one of the many creatures living in Swindler's Swamp. They take the face of a human to lure real people into the swamp, then eat them."

A renewed round of confused and scared mumbling rose up among the applicants, and Harry sucked in a breath. That was one nasty trick. And it seemed like the other exam takers were starting to believe in the tale thanks to this information.

However, Kurapika walked up beside Harry and folded his arms. "Sir, that corpse is not proof that you're a Hunter. If you were really a Hunter, which is the requirement for being an examiner, then you'd have a Hunter's License on you. Show yours to us, and then we'll believe you."

A bead of sweat rolled down the brown-haired man's cheek, bringing some red blood and brown dirt with it. "That thing stole it from me!" he said after hesitating for too long for it to be a legit statement. Harry closed his eyes and sighed. After years of being an Auror, he had a good grasp on how long it took people to tell the truth and to tell a lie.

But surprisingly, the next person to speak out wasn't Harry or Kurapika… but none other than Leorio.

"Hold up right there!" Leorio exclaimed, pointing like a lawyer at the now obviously fake examiner. "No Hunter worth his salt would ever let anyone or anything take his Hunter's License from him! Do you know how much money you can sell one of those babies for?" he barked, steam blowing from his nose. "And how many discounts you can get with it? There's no way anyone would let a mere swamp animal take their Hunter's License, _moron_! You're obviously a fake!"

"Hey, yeah, that's right!" someone else in the crowd said, and then a chorus of agreements rose up following that. Other voice spoke up to counter that and say that Satotz was still probably a fake.

Kurapika stared incredulously at Leorio. " _That_ was what tipped you off?" he muttered, shaking his head with a growing amused smile.

Harry blinked. "I take it Leorio likes money?"

"Yes, he does," Gon spoke up cheerfully, raising his hand.

Killua rolled his eyes. "He's a greedy geezer."

Leorio's teeth ground in frustration. "You guys are jerks," he mumbled.

"Well, since many of you are still uncertain even despite their logic," a very smooth voice said, a voice Harry instantly recognized as Hisoka's, "then there's one easy way to tell who is who." Harry stiffened, instantly fearing for someone's life; there was going to be at least one death out of this, he just _knew_ it.

 _FWIP FWIP FWIP. FWIP FWIP FWIP._

Three playing cards lodged themselves deep into skull of the man who claimed to be the real examiner, travelling so fast Harry could barely even see them until they had stopped. At the same time, three other cards whizzed at Satot. The man caught them without any effort between his fingers, which were even fully extended.

Harry, like the other examinees, _sloooowly_ looked at a smiling Hisoka.

"And that," Hisoka sang, tossing a card up in the air and catching it repeatedly, "proves that Satotz is our real examiner."

Twitching, Leorio made a noise that sounded rather like a rat choking on nothing.

Slowly, the suddenly dead body of the thing that had cried imposter collaped over on the ground, unmoving. A few seconds passed in which no one moved, and not a sound was heard, save for the wind rustling the grass quietly. Then, the body of the man-eating ape, which was apparently still alive, squeaked, leaped up, and scampered away in terror down the hillside.

Hisoka smirked.

Harry just _stared_. The sheer _power_ emanating from this man at this time… it was incredible. It was terrifying. And the fact that those cards had been thrown so hard that they had pierced something's skull… that was _much_ faster than a spell could travel. Everything about this man screamed danger, and it made Harry's skin crawl. He hadn't felt this way since looking at Voldemort's terrible face for the first time. He gritted his teeth, angry; he shouldn't _have_ to feel like this anymore! He was a grown man, he had defeated the most evil sorcerer of history, and this man in front of him didn't even know magic!

But even then, just from the sheer intensity of the blood lust emanating from the one-way connection he had established with Hisoka, Harry knew that he was way too far below Hisoka's league.

Gazing at the immensely strong man tossing a card casually in the air, Harry Potter trembled.

"We won't even need to check Satotz for his Hunter License," Hisoka said, chuckling and shaking his head. "Any Hunter with the ability to be an examiner would need to at least be able to block that attack."

"I'll take that as a compliment," Satotz said, bowing low so only his purple hair could be seen on his head. "However, should you attack me again, for any reason, I will report you for turning on an examiner. You will be immediately kicked from the Exam. Are we clear?"

A wave of power _also_ emanated from Satotz, washing over Harry's magic and making him suck in a terrified breath. It wasn't as strong as Hisoka's, but it was _strong_. He could feel it without even a Tracking Spell connection; what was this man's power!?

Harry shivered and backed up a step, a bead of sweat rolling down his cheek.

These people were _strength_.

A frightening smirk turned up Hisoka's lips, the same kind of grin that he'd looked upon Harry with before, on the staircase. Harry was very glad he was not Satotz right then. "Crystal," said Hisoka.

Cawing drew everyone's attention back to the corpse of the imposter, where vultures were flying down and immediately going to town on their new meal. At least this sight didn't bother him; he'd seen more disgusting processes of nature in Herbology back at Hogwarts.

"Nature really can be brutal to watch…" Leorio mumbled, to which Harry silently agreed despite not being disgusted.

Kurapika sighed. "So that man was a man-faced ape, as well," he said, shaking his head. "That makes sense."

"He was attempting to confuse the applicants, to lure some of them away," Satotz explained, his hands in his pants pockets. All eyes turned to him.

"We can't let down our guard," Killua observed, sounding both impressed and annoyed. Gon nodded.

The examiner of Phase One stepped forward, and the crowd of applicants parted to allow him to pass. "You will be encountering this kind of deception on a regular basis." He stopped at the edge of the group of applicants, directly in front of where the vultures were eating the man-faced ape's corpse. "I believe that a number of you were fooled by his lies?"

Satotz turned and stared sternly at all the examinees, and Harry cracked his knuckles, needing a distraction from his thoughts. "Do you understand? If you lose sight of me in the Numere Wetlands fog, you will never reach the exam's Second Phase. Do bear that in mind. Now, let us be on our way. Please follow me."

Harry hesitated a little as Satotz and the others immediately began running down the hillside once again. Shaking himself back into his confidence, he took off again, keeping pace with Gon, Killua, Kurapika, and Leorio.

"Tch, another marathon," grumbled Leorio as they descended into the marsh.

Kurapika nodded. "And this time through wet ground. That will make running slower and more tiresome, requiring more energy."

"But even more than that, the mental strain on not knowing what could be or couldn't be a trap will put a lot of stress on us," Harry added above the din of pounding, splashing feet.

And then a voice chimed in that made Harry's blood run cold.

"Hm, that would certainly be true," hummed the voice of Hisoka from right next to Harry's ear, so close that the black-haired man could actually feel the clown's hot breath. "But don't you think that talking while running would also take more energy?"

His heart pounded, and Harry froze as the terrifying wave of Hisoka's power washed over him.

"Do you want to play, number 3. 3. 3- _san_?" whispered Hisoka, licking his lips.

"H-Hisoka!" he tried to gasp, but already, Hisoka's hand was clamping around his mouth, preventing him from making anything more than a muffled cry. Unaware of his plight, Gon, Killua, Kurapika, and Leorio continued running forward into the mist. In seconds they had already disappeared from his vision, the fog consuming them.

"Don't involve your little friends, in this," Hisoka said quietly in Harry's ear, and the forty-year-old wizard could almost feel the evil smile that accompanied it. "You are the only one I want today."

Around them, the applicants raced by, leaving them behind with only a worried glance at Harry. None of them wanted to mess with Hisoka. He was simply too powerful. At last, they were the only ones left in the mist.

"Now then," Hisoka said calmly, releasing his hold on Harry, who immediately whirled away, falling into a karate stance. "Why don't you tell me what kind of _Nen_ you used on me back in the tunnel?"

 _Nen_? Harry didn't know what that was, but it sounded important. Even so… he couldn't reveal it. Having Hisoka, especially, find out about magic would be a serious threat. He had to escape.

Harry took a step back. He paused, then looked past Hisoka, and his eyes opened wide in fear.

"W-W-W-WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?" he shouted suddenly, pointing past the redhead, who stared flatly at him before slowly looking over his shoulders. The second he was out of Hisoka's gaze, he pictured the hill they'd just been on.

 _CRACK_.

Hisoka jumped and turned around at the unexpected sound, and stared when he saw no Harry in sight. Frowning, Hisoka searched for any _Nen_ nearby.

"Nothing," he said, raising an eyebrow. "He's... gone."

He paused.

He could feel his blood lust rising, and despite his confusion, he felt _excitement_.

" _Ohhh_ ," he moaned, trembling with it all. " _Ohhhhh_! _333_!"

 _Curiosity_. This 333 was _new_ , was _refreshing_.

"Interesting…" Hisoka actually giggled as he returned to running forward into the mist. "So very, very interesting." Oh, this was indeed perhaps one of the most interesting potentials he'd ever felt.

And it made Hisoka _schwing_.

 **A/N:** _I hope I got Hisoka's Semi-Evil Pervy Clowness down right. I really, really hope I did. And if I didn't,_ please _let me know._


	6. The x Terrifying x Judge

Chapter 6 - The x Terrifying x Judge

 _CRACK_.

The color of the world shifted from tense and scummy water, pale fog, dark mud and long grass, to a peaceful, light-swathed hillcrest. Harry stumbled a few steps when upon Apparating to the hill on which they'd arrived upon exiting the eighty kilometer tunnel. He panted for a few minutes, his heart pounding and his blood rushing in his ears. He remembered all the mornings back in his Hogwarts days when he'd wake up in a cold sweat after a night of terrible dreams of Voldemort killing him and/or his parents or friends. He hadn't felt that level of fear in _ages_.

Harry wiped sweat from his brow and clutched at his chest. He gritted his teeth. He _hated_ feeling like this. He shouldn't _have_ to feel like this anymore. He had conquered death, had survived it twice!

Who in the hell _was_ Hisoka?

It felt good to be back in the sunlight again. Not so good to be alone, especially not in a swamp like this where the creatures apparently thrived on tricking people and eating them, but it wasn't like he hadn't faced that before. This whole second half of Phase One really reminded Harry of the hedge maze in the Triwizard Tournament. Even the confusion of not knowing where one was going thanks to the fog reminded him of the weird direction-warping strangeness that was the maze's magic. It wasn't anything he hadn't dealt with before. Still, it felt good to be anywhere where Hisoka wasn't.

However…

His eyes widened.

Gon, Killua, Kurapika, and Leorio had been left behind near Hisoka! Gulping, Harry quickly opened up his one-way connections and checked the three links he'd cast. Gon and Killua's emotions were normal, albeit a little excited and tired. He assumed they were excited to be nearly done with Phase One, and tired from all the boring running. As for Hisoka…

Well, the… _emotions_ that he felt through that particular link were enough to make him close it, and wish desperately that he'd never been stupid enough to even hit the man with the spell.

Merlin's underpants, what even was Hisoka's brain?

Harry had the sudden thought that the evil clown would probably be very excited indeed at the notion of Merlin's underpants. He proceeded to Memory Charm _that_ particular thought out of existence. Blinking and wondering why he felt so horrified, Harry shrugged to himself and considered his next course of action.

Since Gon and Killua seemed to be relatively okay—at least, their emotions hadn't grown frightened or concerned—he decided it would be best for him to find his way back to Satotz. Preferably _without_ running into Hisoka. Nodding to himself, Harry whipped out his wand and tapped its tip on the top of his hornet's nest head.

He felt the familiar cold tingle of the Disillusionment Charm spread down his body, like someone had poured a cup of ice-water on him. First his unkempt, dark hair, and then his black robes, pink T-shirt, and blue jeans rippled and faded into the colors of the green environment around him. Like a human chameleon, he melded almost perfectly into his surroundings. It _wasn't_ a perfect disguise, however, and if one squinted hard enough, one could still see a bit of blurriness around Harry's body; it was also true that his shadow remained.

"Great," Harry said to himself, pleased with his spellcasting. He nodded and looked directly ahead. From what he could tell, they had been travelling straight down the center of the swamp, and hadn't been making any turns, so as long as he continuously Apparated straight ahead, the wizard guessed that he would be able to catch up soon enough.

He immediately frowned. That said, it wouldn't hurt to be sure…

Harry flicked his wand. "Point Me Satotz," he said aloud, and his wand immediately moved so that its tip was pointing directly in front of him. He grinned. Good _Lord_ was this spell useful. He didn't even know how many times it had saved him over the course of his school and work careers. Hermione was definitely the best witch he knew (besides Ginny, of course—Ginny was just all around amazing, even more so for _almost_ immediately agreeing to let him go with Hermione and Ron on this adventure).

With a wide grin, Harry looked for the furthest tree he could see that might support his weight, pictured it in his mind's eye, and departed from the crest of the hill.

~o~

The fog rolled through the thick swampland like a murky soup, impossible to see through. It was so thick, Hisoka imagined, that it was almost as though he could feel it pushing back against him while he ran. Despite all of this, however, the billowing grey clouds did nothing to block his aura from detecting that of the other candidates. And his aura currently told him he was surrounded. The group of men (Hisoka sensed ten around him and one hanging back) had absolutely zero control over their aura… and by the feel of things, were very unlikely to ever get any handle on it.

Of course, even without _Nen_ , he would've been able to tell that. His pursuers were not very talented at pursuing. Their feet made too much wet _shluk-shluks_ against the waterlogged earth, and even with the fog, he could still somewhat see the outlines of their bodies with his naked eye.

He sighed. Deep inside him, bloodlust raged; a growling, slobbering beast.

"If you want to fight me," he said at last, slowing to a stop and smiling thinly, falsely, out into the mist, "then what are you waiting for? I'm always ready for some toys to chew apart."

The sound of the other applicants' running stopped. For a few moments, silence as thick as the fog swirled in the air. Then, off in the distance, too far to have been any of the pursuers, someone screamed before their voice strangled and died abruptly.

Hisoka smirked and licked his lips.

"When I saw you last year," a man's deep voice said, angry and condescending, "I knew you weren't Hunter material." Immediately, the group circling him closed in, and he raised an eyebrow. All of them had different weapons withdrawn and pointed towards him at the ready. Each was dressed in a deep navy blue martial arts uniform, a _gi_. All of them were well-toned muscularly, and were of a variety of different builds and skin tones. The one who had spoken appeared to be the leader of the group, as he remained hanging in the back like the coward he was.

This group of people was a martial arts team, with their leader being their sensei. Hisoka vaguely recognized them from the previous year's exam, although he did not remember any of their names, nor did he want to. He only remembered the names of important people in society or strong people, and these martial artists stood in neither of these categories.

"We'll spare you if you swear not to take the Hunter Exam again next year," one of his men, a black man with no hair and the number 67 on his chest, stated.

Hisoka raised an eyebrow. It would be fun to mess with these weaklings a bit, but his bloodlust was raging too intensely for that. Therefore, he sighed and shook his head.

"So, claiming I am unfit to be a Hunter, all of you are acting as judges, then?" Hisoka concluded. He took out a deck of cards from his pocket and shuffled them, causing the spineless men to flinch. Hisoka's grin darkened into one that was much more sinister. "Well, then," he said, "wouldn't you agree that the judge should be stronger than the one being judged? Therefore… I shall judge all of you instead."

The leader of the group took a step back, trembling, and then glared at his friends. "Attack!" he bellowed. With yells as though they already knew it would be their last, the martial arts team rushed forward without their sensei. Hisoka sighed. The leader was one who was more willing to hide behind others to achieve his goals than to chase them himself, and the team did not want to be here; instead, they were blindly following their leader to what would be their deaths. None of them would make it as Hunters.

"And so the flower wilts," Hisoka hummed, and slipped one card from the deck—the Four of Hearts. With a thin smile at the irony of that, he poured some of his aura into the card with _Gyo_. Then, in a single, graceful move, he pirouetted on his left foot, holding his arm out in front of it and swinging it faster than he spun.

He planted his right foot back on the wet, swampy ground and stopped moving.

Blood spurted from his would-be attackers' necks. At the same time, every member of the team slowly began to fall backwards. Then, gravity fully acted upon their corpses, and they collapsed to the ground. They moved no more.

"Too bad," Hisoka sighed, shaking his head. He lifted up the Four of Hearts and presented it to the team's sensei, who gaped in unbridled horror. Even though it had slit the throats of all his men, the card didn't have so much as a speck of blood on it. Hisoka's thin smile thinned even more. "You fail."

A dry squeak of terror, like a rat stepped on by a cat, left the dead team's sensei, and he backed up quickly. His head shaking in pure denial, he gasped, "No… n-no way… n-no one can be that strong!"

For a moment, the man's body froze up, refusing to work properly. Hisoka giggled; he _so_ loved the rat's terror when it finally realized that the cat was going to kill it.

"THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!" the team leader bawled, tears streaming from his squarish face as he turned and ran for his life. But in his haste, his foot accidentally struck his other heel, and he fell face forward in the muddy marsh. His breaths came in short, numerous gasps, and he desperately clawed himself forward across the ground. He was so scared that his pants had a dark, wet spot on their crotch.

"Unfortunately for you, your potential is zero," Hisoka told the crying, pleading man, and the redhead threw the Four of Hearts directly into the center of his skull.

His victim had about two seconds to let out a strangled groan of agony.

Then he fell forward, lying face down, dead as his team.

Hisoka's bloodlust calmed, retreating back in his stomach and falling into a light slumber. He chuckled and walked towards the corpse of the team leader. He knelt by the dead man's head, grasped his Four of Hearts lightly with his pointer and middle fingers, and extracted it from his victim's skull. The redhead frowned lightly when he pulled it out; the half that had been buried in flesh dripped with blood.

Hisoka wiped it on the underside of his bowl-like overshirt and returned the card to the deck from which it had come. He then put the deck back in his pocket and stood up. He turned in the direction of the two auras he felt that, although were suppressed in a way which suggested they had yet to be unlocked, flowed with energy, strength, and potential. He had actually felt them since the late martial artists had circled him, but since they hadn't done anything, he'd let them be.

Now, though…

"Come out, come out, you two," Hisoka sang, his eyes glinting. "Wouldn't you like to take my little test?"

He hoped his two watchers would. Oh, he _very_ much hoped they would. The intense life energy they gave off, just like number 333… he was excited to see how these applicants would fight.

For a couple moments, the unchecked auras of the two examinees remained in their spots. Then he heard a high-pitched voice, almost that of a girl's, shout, "THREE!" With commendable speed, the two auras raced away from Hisoka at opposite diagonal directions. He raised his eyebrow. Interesting. Having been able to tell that the wall in front of them was too tall to scale, they split in such a manner that should Hisoka decide to kill them, he would only be able to hunt down one.

Despite being in a situation potentially dangerous for them, the unknown applicants were able to keep a cool head. Not only that, they were able to choose a route that was the most likely to have at least one of them survive.

"Wise decision," he said loudly into the mist.

And he meant it. In an actual Hunter's job, if they were to encounter an enemy far greater than either of them and escape in this method, it would allow at least one of them to bring word back to their boss and reveal the enemy's location. Then someone stronger and more suited for the task could be sent in to deal with the situation. A wise decision indeed.

Hisoka began to turn back and start running in the direction he initially had been going in. Then he paused and smirked. One of the auras had stopped, then began running right back at Hisoka.

"I'm sorry!" he heard a man's voice shout through the fog. "I know this isn't my fight… but I just can't turn my back on what he did!"

"LEORIO!" someone else protested—the person with the feminine voice—but the other man howled a battle cry and continued forward.

The sound of feet sinking into and squelching out of marshy ground pierced through the dense fog. Moments later, the low-hanging clouds spat out from them a tall man, probably around twenty or thirty, with spiky black hair. He had blue dress pants on and a blue suit tied around his waist, exposing his admittedly well-toned muscles. The only article of clothing on his upper body was a tie loosely hanging from his neck, and the number 403 pinned to his chest. This was Leorio, Hisoka inferred.

"HISOKA!" Leorio bellowed, his eyes glinting with both resignation and fear. He swung his hands down from above his head as he drew within the range of the Spider. Hisoka noted that in his hands, Leorio clutched a simple, large tree branch, which he had probably picked up off the ground.

"I do so adore the look on your face," Hisoka purred, but Leorio just kept charging at him.

Even though he was afraid and knew he was no match for Hisoka, the man's morals stopped him from being able to look away. The redhead grinned. Leorio was both brave and courageous, and refused to back away from something he knew to be wrong; qualities worthy of a Hunter.

Hisoka sidestepped the overhead strike and, pouring aura into his legs with _Gyo_ , rapidly ran around and behind his new opponent. He lifted his hand up and opened it flat. Then, he swung it down for a rapid chop that was supposed to be directly into Leorio's back.

Then, something curious happened.

Something slammed hard into Hisoka's cheek, something small but with enough force to actually make him stumble to the side a bit. Surprised, the redhead looked to his left and peered through the somewhat-thinning fog. The object which had struck him flew back through the air to its owner, and he saw that it was, of all things, a bob on a fishing hook. And the owner was none other than #405, the innocent-looking kid he'd noticed hanging out with number 333, Leorio, number 99, and the blond guy on the hillcrest.

The aura this kid gave off, this kid with the green hair and clothes… _Mmmm_.

"GON!" gasped Leorio, looking at the boy with something akin to relief and fear. He scrambled away from Hisoka's range and panted heavily.

"Not bad… Gon," Hisoka hummed, rubbing his cheek and smiling.

His "excitement" rose when Gon glared back with that delectable, defiant gaze Leorio had given him moments before.

Now _this_ … _this_ would be _fun_.

~o~

Hanging on the top branches of his third tree, Harry paused to let his magic get some rest. Apparating too many times in a row used up a great deal of one's reserves, and although he still had a fair amount left, Harry felt that it wouldn't hurt to replenish some.

He waited a couple minutes, then lifted up his wand and said, "Point Me, Satotz." He nodded when it pointed in the same direction he'd been going. He had no idea what the time limit was life for this part of Phase One, or if there was one at all, but the examiner couldn't be _too_ far ahead. The wizard probably still had a few moments to rest, at least.

Harry paused, remaining still in the tall tree which swayed with his weight.

All around him, terrified screams occasionally permeated the air, and his grip on the branches tightened. His knuckles were slowly turning white. Every so often, one of the screams would suddenly die, and Harry would grit his teeth.

He hated it, but his encounter and escape from Hisoka had prevented him from being near the other examinees. He hadn't been able to save a single life so far. Through this fog, and without a specific name he could use for the Point Me, Harry was unable to find any of the other examinees. He _could_ hear their dying screams, though, and it set his hero complex on maximum stress.

Harry _loathed_ this. The moment he got his Hunter's license and when he met up with Ron and Hermione, he was going to work as hard as he could to ensure that no part of the Hunter's Exam could be legally deadly.

That said… Harry figured it was about time to check on Gon, Killua, and Hisoka again. He reopened his one-way connection with Killua first. He felt… annoyance, confusion, and loneliness. Saddened, he checked Gon's. Excitement, surprise, relief, pain, and undertones of fear. Those last two worried Harry. He quickly checked Hisoka's, too, keeping Gon's open while doing so.

Thirst for battle. Hints of bloodlust. _Excitement_. And it felt as though Hisoka was very close to Gon.

Harry paled and stiffened.

"Oh, no," he breathed, and turned in circles, searching rapidly for either Hisoka or Gon. But even though the fog was slowly dissipating, it was a vain attempt.

He desperately flicked his wand. "Point Me, Gon!" he pleaded, and the tip of his wand swung to face behind him and a hair to his right.

With a crack, he Apparated to the furthest sturdy tree he could spy in that direction. He checked the Point Me spell again as he clung to the new tree for his life. His wand now was stuck in a direction straight to his right, hanging down at a forty-five degree angle. The last Apparate had depleted his magic reserves to about half, but he jabbed his wand in the direction which the Point Me showed.

"Repulso!" he cried, and a wave of power burst from his wand. It blew away a large amount of the fog in Harry's line of sight, revealing the ground. Harry swallowed. After the next Apparate, he'd only have enough magic left for a handful more spells and a second Apparate.

He'd just have to make them worth it.

 _CRACK!_

Harry reappeared at the edge of the fog he'd blown away, panting a little bit. His Point Me thrusted his wand directly forward now, and Harry peered through the mist. What he saw made his blood run cold. Hisoka held up a helpless, kicking Gon by the neck.

"Muffliato," Harry whispered. A sphere of silence erupted magically around him; he'd be able to hear everything inside and out, but no one outside could hear in.

Grateful for his previous use of the Disillusionment Charm, Harry closed his eyes and whispered an apology to the Ministry of Magic. He'd have to use magic if he wanted to save Gon here. Opening his eyes, he swept his wand and remembered his wedding with Ginny. "Expecto Patronum!"

A brilliant stag, white and gleaming, expelled itself from Harry's wand and galloped elegantly at Hisoka. Once it left the radius of his Muffliato, the stag's hooves reached Hisoka's ears, and the man's eyes widened as he turned to stare at it. He had a moment's decision before its extended antlers rammed into him. The evil clown, still holding up Harry's friend, leaped backwards, but Harry was expecting this. As the stag barreled past harmlessly, the wizard yelled, "Expelliarmus!" and red light streamed from his wand. The spell hit Hisoka directly in the chest; his fingers unclenched, and Gon was flung into the air towards the still-invisible Harry.

Hisoka, eyes widening, pointed his finger at Gon. His large, lanky body became shrouded in some kind of strange energy, flowing and white, and Harry gaped. Pink light erupted from the tip of Hisoka's finger, firing through the air and attaching itself on the boy's knee. All of a sudden, Gon stopped being magically pulled towards Harry and instead hung in midair.

"Bungee Gum," Hisoka said, regarding the spot where he felt Harry's aura to be, but was unable to see anybody, with renewed curiosity.

Gon hung in space for several moments, confusion overriding all other emotions. "What's going on?" he demanded. He struggled helplessly against the two opposing forces holding him in place.

A bead of sweat rolled down Harry's cheek as he stared at his opponent. That light Hisoka had attached to Gon… how on Earth was it effectively negating his Disarming Charm? Was that magic? Thinking back on it, Tonpa _had_ mentioned that Hisoka's moniker was "the magician," but Harry had assumed he meant the Muggle version. And the redhead didn't have a wand. But what else could this strange light be, except magic?

Harry shook his head. He only had to focus on safely retrieving Gon. He could worry about what powers Hisoka did or didn't have later.

"Expelliarmus!" Harry cried again, and the red light bursting forth from his wand hit Hisoka's _'Bungee Gum'_ thing this time. The light instantly broke, and its owner's eyes widened in surprise for the first time in a long time. Once again, the green-haired twelve year old flew towards Harry, who easily caught him and dispelled the Disillusionment Charm and Muffliato. Now that he had lost the element of surprise, he wouldn't be needing them, and they'd only be wasting what precious magic he had left.

"Harry!?" Gon exclaimed, his eyes widening in his grip. "I could smell you, but couldn't see you at first! What did you do? That was really cool!"

"It's alright now," he reassured his friend, glaring at Hisoka with narrowed eyes. "I've got you. I won't let Hisoka hurt you."

"You won't let me hurt him?" Hisoka hummed, smiling evilly at Harry. "Are you sure you can keep that promise?"

"I will," Harry snarled. "If it's the last thing I do."

A tense moment hung as Harry glared at Hisoka, who smiled back with his eyes closed. The redhead licked his lips and held out a couple cards clenched lightly between his pointed and third fingers. Harry paled, remembering what had happened to the man-eating ape back on the hilltop. The guy was a monster with those cards.

"Gon," he said cautiously, lowering the kid to his feet and letting him step away, "we're getting out of here. I can't let you get caught up in a fight with him."

"But Leorio's still over there!" Gon protested, and Harry's eyes widened.

" _Leorio_!?" he exclaimed. What on Earth was that guy doing? Had he tried to challenge Hisoka? No way; he had to have known that he was nowhere _near_ Hisoka's level! Desperately, he searched through the thin fog for spiky hair and toned muscles. He at last spotted the man… directly on the opposite said as they were from Hisoka. Shit. This just got a whole lot harder.

"Alright then," he decided, brandishing his wand. "Gon, you run. You're no match for Hisoka. I'll provide protection as well as retrieve our friend."

Gon clenched his fists. "But I–"

"Will die if you try and face Hisoka again!" Harry yelled, frowning at the kid. "Look, I know you want to save your friend, but I'm telling you I'll handle it. This is pretty much my job back home, alright? But it'll make my efforts a lot harder if I'm also having to keep an eye on you. So go meet up with the main group of applicants again; you have a good nose, so you can handle that, right?"

"Y-Yeah…" Gon admitted with a deflated look. "Okay." He then glared up at Harry with surprising intensity. "But you better not die!"

"I won't," Harry promised. A grin spread up his lips. Gon was a pretty good kid, worrying about him even though Harry was volunteering to put himself on the line for this. He still didn't know _all_ exactly that a Hunter did, but he was sure this boy would make a fine Hunter. He hoped Gon would pass with him.

Turning on a dime, the short boy with the green jacket and yellow backpack tore off into the fog, sniffing the air.

"Oi, Hisoka!" Harry roared, pounding forward. The man's attention was drawn towards him. Nodding to himself, Harry mentally commanded his Patronus to turn around and run at Hisoka again. "Your fight is with me!"

"So, you're finally willing to fight, 333-san?" Hisoka practically sang.

"I have a name…" Harry snarled, swishing his wand through the air, "and it is Harry Potter! _Expulso_!"

Issuing forth from Harry's wand, the _Expulso_ slammed into the ground at Hisoka's feet. It threw a plume of mud and dirt in the man's eyes. Harry immediately threw several more spells at Hisoka: an _Incarcerous_ , _Confringo_ , and a Conjunctivitis Curse. Sweat coalesced on the forehead of the Boy-Who-Lived, catching in his lightning-bolt scar. None of the spells connected, however, for Hisoka dodged them all, even through the veil of mud. He had yet to notice, however, the stag that was still behind him, and was even now charging directly at him silently. Indeed, the clown didn't notice it until its hooves pounded directly into his back, and it was throwing its head wildly to release the person whom it carried in its antlers.

Harry caught Leorio with an _OOMPH_ of released air; the dude was _heavy_. Panting from having nearly used up all of his magic reserves, he straightened up. However, no sooner had he done so then Hisoka kicked the stag off of him and threw two playing cards directly at Harry's brain.

 _Shit._ _This is going to use up the last of my magic… but…_

He squeezed his eyes shut and thought of the second-to-last tree he'd been on before arriving here, in front of Hisoka.

 _CRACK_.

Barely even a moment after Harry Apparated away, the cards sailed like aerial bombers through the spot he'd occupied. They lodged themselves into a nearby bush.

Hisoka stared, trying to figure out exactly what Harry's _Nen_ had been. It had caused so many different effects; making him release Gon, conjuring a stag which Harry could control, exploding the ground around Hisoka's feet, and making Harry and Leorio disappear from the area completely.

Even though he'd lost his opponent, Hisoka salivated.

"Harry Potter," he said, trying out the name gleefully. "Gon. Leorio. Such wonderful boys…"

He could not _wait_ to see their growth.

~-~ TO x BE x CONTINUED ~-~


	7. Never x Underestimate x Cooking

**A/N:** _Sorry for the wait in the making of this chapter! I've been working on a new original story called_ Right Hand of God, _set on an Earth in which ghosts, demons, and all manner of supernatural creatures exist. People who have the ability to exorcise them are rarely born. Jacob Davidson is one such person, and has been ghostbusting for seven years. Agent Skul Mann is a revenant working for the FBI. Their meeting in the city of Normal, Ohio signals the start of the end of the world as they know it._

 _Feel free to check it out when you have time! You can find it in my account (same name as this one) on fictionpress, or on Wattpad. I promise you it'll be perfect for your spooky, scary Halloween-time needs! Now then, let's get on with your regularly scheduled Wizard x Wizard!_

* * *

Chapter 7: Never x Underestimate x Cooking

Harry raced through the fog, panting due to the added effort of lugging Leorio around on his back. He had waited the minimum time he needed to in order to gain back enough magic for another spell, and used a Point Me to lead the way to Satotz. This leg of the run was much more strenuous even without the added weight, however. By the time he finally broke out of the swamp into a normal forest, and then at last caught up with the examiner and examinees, his knees were trembling and ready to give out.

He was in a sort of clearing where the dirt path that he'd been following for the past few kilometers wound up to a long stone wall and wooden gate, which hid the area behind it from view. All the other applicants who'd made it thus far had gathered around the gate, milling about and doing their own things. A few heads looked up at him as he drew up to the wall, dumping Leorio (who was still out cold, curse him) unceremoniously on the grass. At that point, he was so tired that he really didn't care if the guy accidentally fell on his head and his sanity got all jumbled.

He bent over to his knees and let his sweat cascade off his cheeks. For several minutes, he just stayed like that, too tired to do much of anything else. Then strength slowly began to return to him, enough to speak. "I…" Harry panted weakly to no one in particular, "hate… running."

The sound of footsteps behind him reached Harry's ears. He straightened up and turned to see Kurapika running up the path towards the examinees, Gon in his wake. "What happened back there?" the boy with the remarkably girly voice asked curiously. "That stuff you used against Hisoka… what was that?"

"Hello to you, too, Kurapika," Harry deadpanned. He retched from exhaustion, then shook his head. "I'll tell you guys later." He crossed his fingers behind his back.

"Ehhh?" Gon, who looked as fresh as if he'd never been running at all, pouted. His hair was still stuck up in its iconic spikiness, not even matted down slightly by sweat. "But I wanna find out now!"

"The puppy dog eyes aren't going to work on me," Harry deadpanned when Gon turned on said look. "I have four kids of my own, a godson, and my best friend's kids come over to my house to play with mine so often that they might as well be family. I'm pretty much immune to the Eyes by now."

Gon's innocent, adorable eyes looked up at him pleadingly.

"Nope," Harry said flatly.

Tears started building up, and Harry held his gaze steadily. He knew all the tricks in the book, and although Gon was admittedly quite skilled at this, Harry was a tough nut to crack. Kurapika snickered under his breath, and a curious Killua—who'd made it to the end of the path long before Harry—jogged over to the group. The pale boy's head swiveled to Gon, then to the emotionless Potter, then back to Gon, and he blinked.

"What's going on?" Killua asked.

Gon broke his and Harry's staring contest to turn to Killua with a desperate frown. "Harry used some weird flashy light stuff against Hisoka that looked kind of like magic to save Leorio and me, but he won't tell us what it was!"

"What!?" The other twelve-year-old's sapphire orbs stared; whatever it was he'd been expecting, it certainly hadn't been _that_. He glanced at Kurapika, the member of his friend group least likely to exaggerate things. "Is this true?"

Kurapika shrugged. "I didn't actually see any of it myself, because I was running from Hisoka at the time, but that's what Gon told me. All I can say is that I don't see anyone _physically_ forcing Hisoka to let go of any target."

Killua looked at Gon for a moment, narrowing his eyes. Gon smiled right back. The white-haired kid's lips turned up, and Harry suddenly got a bad feeling that he was in even more danger than when he'd been facing Hisoka.

Then Gon and Killua _both_ turned the puppy dog eyes on him at full force.

Harry flinched. Kurapika's snickering grew _ever_ so slightly louder. Some of the other applicants, who had started watching the exchange out of sheer boredom, began to grin at the sight of the greying man fighting with all his might against the combined force of Gon and Killua's cuteness.

Harry's eye twitched.

To his credit, he nearly lasted a full minute, which set the world record for twenty years and came to be called a heroic, valiant display of willpower.

"Okay, okay, already!" he cried at last, throwing his hands up in surrender. He opened his mouth and almost spilled all his secrets right then and there. Luckily, however, a highly amused Kurapika jumped in and stopped him.

"Hey, know, I think Harry has a point," Kurapika said through a fit of chuckles. Gon and Killua, who had perked up upon Harry's surrender, immediately deflated. They loudly protested the silver-eyed blond's statement, each arguing over the other. To calm them both down, Kurapika raised a halting hand in the air. "It would be unwise for Harry to tell any of us his abilities or skills here, with everyone listening in."

Gon hesitated, thinking about this.

Killua frowned. "That's true," he admitted reluctantly. He sighed in disappointment. "Aw, but man, I still want to know…"

His backpack bouncing excitedly on his back, Gon perked up and raised his hand. "Fine, we don't have to know now! But when we all get the chance to be away from everyone else, Harry _has_ to tell us!"

"I already said I'd do that," Harry grumbled, and facepalmed after realizing it had fallen on deaf ears. The perky kid had already moved on from the subject, chatting animatedly with Killua about his encounter with Hisoka. Killua's full attention was on Gon's story. Neither even acknowledged that Harry had been talking. Honestly, these kids were going to make his hair go grey even sooner than it already was.

Harry felt a sudden chill crawl down his spine like a spider and he spun around to find Hisoka strolling up the dirt path. The evil clown's star and raindrop tattoos scrunched up with the smirk that he sent Harry. It was a look that greatly reminded him of a pervert staring into the girl's side of an onsen. The forty-year-old wizard shuddered in horror and wished he hadn't dispelled his Disillusionment Charm.

Thankfully, however, the redheaded man tried nothing. Instead, he simply continued walking forward, his bowl-like overshirt, dirtied because of Harry's _Expulso_ , drifting in the forest's cool breeze.

Twenty more minutes passed, during which time Leorio woke up, confused and remembering little of the events leading to his unconsciousness. Hisoka built a card tower and actually completed it without any outside interference (Harry supposed that some strange force in the world loved the guy), before knocking it over with a tap of one white finger. Hanzo the bald ninja did some push ups using only the pinky finger of his right hand. Out of the corner of his eye, Harry noticed Tonpa discreetly talking with three men who looked like brothers; money exchanged hands and knowing nods were made. Leorio used the time to reorganize his suitcase, which apparently contained both medical supplies and a series of daggers.

"You fight with daggers, Leorio?" Harry asked, peering curiously over his friend's shoulder.

The young man's shoulders slumped. "Yeah," he said quietly, gingerly handling one of the daggers before slipping it back into its pouch. "I'm not very good with them, but I use them to honor my dead friend. He always liked daggers the best. We used to pretend-fight a lot, and he'd always say that in a real battle, he'd always choose a dagger as his weapon."

Harry's smile fell, and he stared silently at the weapon display. "I see," he said. He paused, then placed a hand on Leorio's shoulder. "I'm sure your friend appreciates it that you're still thinking of him."

Leorio was silent for a moment. "Thanks. For… for understanding. It's hard to talk about, and I almost didn't want to tell you even though the others know, because I was worried an old man like you would pity me. But, well, Kurapika told me that you saved Gon and I from Hisoka, so I guess I owe at least this much to you." He snapped his suitcase shut, brushed Harry's hand off his broad shoulder, and stood up. "I want to be a Hunter so that I'll have enough money to cure kids of the same illness that killed my friend."

An illness, huh? Harry frowned sadly. That must've been heard for Leorio, watching his friend suffer to the point of death and being unable to do anything about it. He remembered when he'd visited St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries the first time, and he and his friends had come across Neville and his grandparents. He remembered the stricken, helpless plead for the trio to leave that had crossed Neville's face. He'd seen first hand what that kind of thing could do to a person.

"A doctor is a very noble profession," Harry said with a soft smile. "I'm sure you'll be bloody brilliant at it."

Leorio stared, then grinned and shook his head. "I don't know about brilliant, but I think that they'd kick me out if I was bloody. Can't be harming the patients."

Harry's lips twitched, and suddenly he was snorting with mirth right alongside Leorio.

Then that annoying ringing, just like before the start of Phase One, sliced the air. Harry hated to admit it, but he jumped a little. He and Leorio quieted down and turned to the direction of the iron gate. There stood Satotz, his slick black suit totally dry as though it had just come from the cleaner's. Harry couldn't quite tell whether the man was happy, sad, amused, annoyed, or what; the lack of any visible mouth on his face made it remarkably hard to read the examiner's emotions.

(This still bothered Harry. He made a mental note to ask Satotz what exactly was up with his apparently invisible mouth, once the Exam ended.)

"Excellent work, everyone," the examiner stated, his purple mustache twitching with each syllable. "Phase Two of the exam will occur here, in the Biska Forest Park. So, I shall take my leave. Best of luck to all of you."

Harry groaned in relief. The first phase was done; that meant there wasn't anymore running! Thank Merlin!

Satotz walked his funny little robotic walk down the path, back into the forest. Harry watched him go with a raised eyebrow. It seemed like a very inefficient way for a person to move, but then again, the guy had somehow managed to keep ahead of all of them for both the marathon through the tunnel and the marathon through the swamp. So, hey, what did he know?

The wooden gate slid open, two halves pulling away from the center in opposite directions. The examiners blinked at the surprisingly small amount of noise created from this, and turned to look at it. Their dirt path continued beyond the gate, leading directly up to a large Victorian mansion. It seemed to be made mostly of limestone, or a similar white material, and it had the classic brick roof of that era. A single white flag fluttered in the wind, atop the center of the mansion.

Columns supported a balcony beneath the window in the middle of the second story, and under the balcony was the doors. Before the doors sat an incredibly large figure who _had_ to at least be part-giant; his head was at least five times as wide as Harry's, and he was tall enough to almost hit the underside of the balcony. In front of him, a skimpily clad girl with green hair tied up in five straight rods sat in a plush chair. Her legs were crossed casually, and her arms draped behind the back of the chair.

"Will all the applicants who passed the first phase please enter?" the girl called out, loud enough to be heard from the short distance between them. "Welcome. I'm Menchi, one of the Second Phase examiners."

The definite giant spoke with a surprisingly mismatched voice. "And I'm Buhara, the other examiner."

Harry nudged Leorio. "Yes, I can enter if I can even move after all that running," he snarked, and the nineteen-year-old chuckled.

All the Hunter's Exam applicants made their way forward. Harry noted that rows upon rows of mini, portable kitchens sat on the grass lawn between the Victorian mansion and its protective wall, complete with various cooking supplies. He raised an eyebrow. Would cooking somehow be involved in this phase? There were so many portable kitchens, it seemed like this was highly likely.

A rumble resounded throughout the mansion's yard, and Harry tensed his muscles. When the ground didn't shake, he blinked in confusion and relaxed. A nervous muttering rose up among the examinees.

"Wh-what was that sound?" many of them wondered aloud, and the wizard felt reassured in the realization that he wasn't the only one who didn't know.

The girl with the weird, green hair turned to look over her shoulder at Buhara. "You must be hungry," Menchi stated, and Harry's jaw dropped.

Buhara, his eyes closed sadly, nodded. "I'm starving."

"Wait, you mean to tell me that wasn't an earthquake, but his _stomach_?" he demanded, and a new round of muttering broke out among the other examinees.

"Your ears aren't deceiving you!" Menchi announced, standing up with an amused smile. "And as you can probably tell from our set up in the lawn, Phase Two will involve… cooking!"

A grin spread across Harry's face. So it was cooking after all!

The other applicants didn't seem so excited by this prospect, however. An awkward silence permeated the air after the woman's cheerful statement.

"C-Cooking?" Hanzo repeated as if he couldn't quite believe this, and a sumo wrestler-looking fellow was equally perturbed.

"Wait! Cooking!? We're here to take the Hunter Exam!"

"Hunters have to eat, too," Harry, who was somewhat put off by the sumo wrestler's angry shout, pointed out, "and I don't know about you, but I saw some pretty weird animals back in the forest. I doubt that's the only place in this world with weird stuff, too. Maybe this Phase is to help teach us how to look for ingredients that won't get ourselves and/or others killed?"

Menchi raised an eyebrow and replied before the sumo wrestler could jump in again. "Not quite, but your theory does have good foundation." She turned from looking at Harry to the examinees as a whole. "Your challenge for the Second Phase of the Hunter Exam is to provide a dish that will satisfy our palate."

"Okay, but why do we have to cook!?" the sumo wrestler yelled, annoyed.

"Because…" The woman closed her eyes, then opened them and grinned widely. "We are Gourmet Hunters!"

Gourmet Hunters? Harry's eyes narrowed. So Hunters fell into different categories, then. Very interesting… he supposed that the type of jobs one hired oneself out for depended on the Hunter category one fell into.

But again, the other examinees didn't seem to take this seriously. First the sumo wrestler, then a large majority of the applicants burst into laughter. Harry blinked and frowned. Annoyance crept into the back of his mind. This reminded him of the guys back in Hogwarts who'd pick on the Herbology-oriented kids; clearly, being a Gourmet Hunter—whatever these people did for a living—wasn't appreciated very much by the other categories. But if a Gourmet Hunter was still a category of Hunter, didn't that mean they had to have at least some level of strength?

"Why are you all laughing?" Harry shouted over the other applicants, who quieted down to frown at him. "There's only one way to get a Hunter's License and became an actual Hunter, after all, isn't there? And that's to pass the Hunter Exam. From what I've seen, only the absolute best of the best can pass it, so why do you look down upon two people who have managed to accomplish what many of us will not be able to?"

The applicants looked at each other. He could sense their hesitation.

"Well… because they're Gourmet Hunters," the sumo wrestler explained weakly, and the heavyset man winced as if even he knew that was a bad reason. "All they do is collect ingredients for shit."

Menchi's eye twitched. "All we do is collect ingredients, eh? That's not a task worthy of being a Hunter, eh? Well then, since you're all unwilling to listen to Number 333's actual logic, why don't we just throw you into this phase?" Harry winced; he didn't like the sound of that. That made it sound like this phase was going to be dangerous, even though it was only cooking. "Buhara."

The giant-like man stood up. Dust blew off the marble landing around the door, and the pot-bellied Hunter's stomach jiggled with the force of the step. The rippling of his stomach was visible even under his plain yellow shirt. His explanation was short, sweet, and directly to the point. "The required ingredient is pork!"

"Pork?" someone echoed dumbly. "As in pig meat?"

"That would be what pork is, yes," Harry said loudly. "Thank you, Webster."

Menchi snorted.

"You're free to use meat from any species of Biska Forest pigs," Buhara continued, disregarding the exchange. "You must use the cooking facilities provided at one of the stations on the lawn to prepare the pork. To pass, both of us must deem your creation delicious."

"And we will evaluate more than just the taste," Menchi added. "Don't underestimate the intricacies of cooking. Got it? When we've both eaten our fill, the phase will end."

The sumo wrestler waved his hand as though brushing them away. "We got it, we got it," he sneered. "Let's just get this over with."

Harry decided he really didn't like that guy.

Buhara lifted his right hand up in the air. "Then the exam's second phase…" He clapped it down against his belly, and the resulting sound was like a gong without the metallic clang. "Starts now!"

Immediately, Harry and the rest of the applicants rushed back out the gate, scattering and delving into Biska Forest in search of pigs. Many of the applicants ran between the trees, disappearing into the dense foliage of the woods. Harry, however, walked along the outside of the wall, searching for any visible clearings or signs of pig tracks. He figured that peaceful animals like that wouldn't much enjoy the company of over three hundred humans and would clear out of the way of any large group.

After five minutes of fruitless searching, another rumbling resounded throughout the forest, and for a second, Harry thought Buhara's belly had growled again. Then he heard the distant sound of many heavy feet slamming against the ground however, like a buffalo stampede. Harry blinked, and then gulped as he recalled the sense of danger he'd felt from Menchi's statement about the Phase. He slowly made his way towards the sound of the stampede, concealing himself behind trees, and drew upon a clearing that lay deeper inside the forest. There, a long line of dust billowed into the sky, created by a horde of pigs over which stood two-and-a-half meters tall and had a flat snout just as tall as their bodies.

Harry must've already adjusted to this world's strangeness, because he honestly wasn't even that surprised.

One giant pig sniffed the air, turned in his direction, and barreled at him. Harry closed his eyes in meditation, and checked his magic core. He'd replenished enough magic to cast a fair amount of spells. He decided to try out a simple Stunner, since no one was looking (everyone nearby was too busy trying to attack the pigs or running away).

" _Stupefy_ ," he said, withdrawing his wand. The Stunner zipped through the air and connected with the beast's large snout… and bounced off.

Harry stared. That _was_ surprising. But if its snout didn't work, then there must be a reason why it was so tall and wide. As the pig charged at him, Harry frowned and rolled to the side. It careened past like a bronco, but before it could get too far, the wizard aimed another Stunner between its eyes.

The pig froze in place, then collapsed to the ground, unmoving.

Bingo. Harry grinned, pleased with his deduction. Hermione would've been proud. He considered the unconscious pig for a few seconds, and at last decided to kill it with a few well-placed Sectumsempras. Then, with an incantation of "Wingardium Leviosa!" he magically lifted it into the air, and placed his hands underneath his body. It wouldn't do to simply walk around with a giant pig floating behind him.

This thought in mind, he lightly pushed the oversized oinker's corpse back to the mansion, where a good deal of applicants were already at work setting up their fires. Harry chose an empty work station, deposited his catch on the ground next to him, and started his preparations. He already had a meal in his head, one he'd made countless times for the Dursleys: a simple recipe called _toad-in-the-hole_. He'd made it so many times before receiving his Hogwarts letter that even now, thirty years later, he still remembered it by heart.

(It didn't really have anything to do with toads or holes, despite the name. English meals were just strangely misnamed often.)

Checking first to ensure he had the necessary ingredients in his station—he did—Harry first cut into the pig. He paused for a minute, trying to remember what sausages were made from. After a terrible minute of being frankly unable to, he at last settled for asking Kurapika, who had bunkered down in a work station nearby and who seemed fairly knowledgeable. He then had to waste a precious handful of minutes dutifully cutting out the intestines, making the sausages and shaping them just right.

Upon completion of this task, he roasted his sausages over a fire and while they cooked, put the batter together. He grabbed a bag of flour and shook out one-and-a-fourth cups of soft, fluffy flour into a clay bowl. To this, he added a half teaspoon of salt, and then reached in with a spoon and scooped out a well in the middle. He selected two of the finest brown eggs from a carton he found in a drawer, and cracked them against the side of the bowl before dumping their contents into the well.

Humming, Harry mixed up the batter with a wooden spoon sporting a long handle. Cooking was something he enjoyed; even back in his days with the Dursleys, he hadn't minded it very much, as it served to relieve the stress of their day-to-day hatred over everything he stood for. It was one of the things that had kept him sane. He still liked to cook for Ginny sometimes, to surprise her and the kids with a nice, warm meal that his amazing wife hadn't had to make.

Thirty minutes later, his little masterpiece was done; he was one of the last ones to finish. Gon had just presented his meal to Menchi and Buhara. Harry, watching as he carefully spooned some of his toad-in-the-hole onto a simple white plate, was sad for Gon when Buhara passed him, but Menchi failed him. As Gon walked dejectedly back to his station, Harry dressed his creation with a sprinkle of mint—very often a good choice—and brought it over to the judges' table.

Menchi raised an eyebrow. "Well, now, you're the first person who didn't simply cook the whole pig. It's better than being decorated with flowers, anyway."

Buhara dug in immediately, not needing to be told twice. As Harry watched somewhat nervously (cooking for people other than his family always made him nervous), the big guy's face lit up and he lifted up a green "O" sign. That was a pass. Harry let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. That was one hurdle jumped. Now there was one more wall in his way between failing and passing.

Menchi's fork stabbed into the toad-in-the-hole, and her knife sliced off a small square of the meal. She lifted the piece up and carefully slid it off her fork's prongs with her teeth. Her mouth closed and she chewed thoughtfully, closing her eyes. Harry shifted nervously; he couldn't tell whether she liked it or not. She gave no pleased grunts, nor any disgusted groans. The seconds passed terribly slowly, and Harry wanted to just demand an answer already; but he waited patiently for her to finish.

At last, Menchi swallowed. She paused, tilting her head.

"The batter is simple, but well made," she said at last, opening her eyes and nodding. "The sausage is a little messily formed, but cooked thoroughly and its taste matches well with the rest of the meal. The mint is also a nice touch; it adds a touch of flavor that brings it all together." Harry waited with bated breath for the final answer; he'd heard enough stories of Gordon Ramsey to know it wasn't over until it was over. Menchi paused a moment more, then lifted up her sign.

Swallowing nervously, Harry's eyes flicked up to see his judgement.

A green "O" smiled on him. Relief passed over him.

"You pass," Menchi said with a warm smile, and Harry's shoulders sagged. That had been way more intense than it had any right being.

Several more applicants brought up meals after Harry's, only to be rejected by Menchi. Kurapika went a couple turns later, presenting a nice-looking pork burger.

And then, at last, it was all over.

"Man, I'm stuffed!" laughed Buhara, a mountain of pig skeletons sitting behind him with all the meat cleaned off of their bones. Harry stared with no small amount of disgust; had the guy really eaten _that_ much pork? He knew giants had less limitations when it came to eating, but man, Buhara could _eat_.

Menchi, reclined in her chair with her legs crossed again, sighed. "I'm stuffed too. Therefore, Phase Two is ended. Only Numbers 333 and 404 pass. We're done here!"

Kurapika, who'd been standing next to Harry since coming back from being judged, sighed and smiled at his friend. "Thanks, Harry. It was because of your actual cooking and managing to pass that I was able to see that this wasn't just about presentation, as I'd initially thought, but taste as well."

"It's no problem," Harry assured him. "I'm happy to help."

The other applicants muttered indignantly.

"Only two people passed?" Hanzo the bald ninja demanded. He glared at Harry. "That's just because he buttered you guys up! The rest of our pigs were done just fine!"

The sumo wrestler was so furious he punched his work station to smithereens. "Yeah, that's bullshit! That 333 bastard only passed because he was a suck-up!"

"If that's true, then why did Kurapika pass along with me?" Harry asked coldly, frowning at the angry man. "You just didn't take the Phase seriously and did the least amount of work you thought could get you to pass. You have no right being mad about failing when you didn't even try."

The heavyset man snarled. "What was that!?"

"Only two people passing is still bullshit!" one of the three brothers that Tonpa had been speaking with earlier shouted.

Outside of Harry's view, Hisoka frowned at Menchi and started to draw three cards from his deck.

"It's not bullshit when all you guys did was look down upon these guys and not take them seriously," Harry insisted, and Menchi rose up to her feet. A dangerous frown curled her lips down.

"I appreciate the defense, 333, but I can handle myself," she said coolly. She regarded the rest of the examinees with a deep frown. "He's right, though, and if anyone has any complaints they'd like addressed, please do so. The fact of the matter is that the lot of you lack respect, focus, and the willingness to try something new. These factors all prove you're unworthy of Hunter status."

Tension coiled among the applicants, and the sumo wrestler looked like he wanted to try attacking; but he frowned and spat on the ground. Hisoka flicked his wrists back—

 _BOOM_.

Before something fell from the sky like a missile, blowing a huge amount of dust up from the path. The applicants all reeled back, coughing, before the wind cleared it away. And standing there in the center of the path was…

Harry nearly choked. "DUMBLEDORE!?" he exclaimed, and then took a second look.

No, it wasn't Dumbledore. The old man with the long beard looked similar in certain ways to his late headmaster and mentor, but upon a closer examination, was not the same man. Dumbledore, for one, hadn't had earlobes that hung down to his chin, nor had he ever been as ripped as this old guy seemed to be from his bulging triceps alone.

"That said," not-Dumbledore reasoned, clopping forward on Japanese-style sandals with only one one thin beam lying horizontally across the center for balance, "it would be excessive to fail all but two applicants this early in the exam."

Harry didn't even care very much when Menchi answered an applicant's question, explaining that this was the Chairman of the Hunter's Association. He just wanted to know how in Merlin's baggy underpants, as Ron would so eloquently put it, that this old man had survived a fall from the blimp he only just now was noticing.

Sadly, Harry didn't get the chance to find out the answer to his questioning of the man's ability to still be alive. Not even during the long blimp ride to their next destination. Harry sighed and groaned. He was never going to fully get accustomed to this world, was he?


End file.
